Last Day of 2015

Last day of 2015
2015 wasn't a bad year. It wasn't a great year. I feel like it was a transition year, which is not a very comfortable thing.

Things have been changing, and I see more changes coming in the future. I've done a season at my new job, and I can see where I need to cut back. This year has been a level of busy that I don't want to repeat. It was too much, and I want more time to spend with my family and just relax. Calmer in 2016. This is my constant goal. I know we'll still be busy, but I know I can make it a little less hectic.

I also feel like my writing "career" has taken the most miniscule step forward this year. Super tiny change, yet it feels like the biggest. I have a lot of writing plans for 2016. One is to finish editing my next book and send it out into the world. Really excited about it. This one has been in the works for quite a while - in one form or another.

I want to get back into training and running in 2016. I've got a couple race goals, a couple TKD goals, and lots of hiking and lifting goals. I want to be as active as I used to be, and I want to try new things.

Change is good, and it is constant. Looking forward to a whole year of new experiences.

Survival Mode and the Aftermath

For three weeks, I took a break from all the extra stuff in my life. If it didn't have a looming deadline or a scheduled time, I let it fall.

It had to happen. December is the busiest month for our family, and I didn't have time for anything extra. Just my day-to-day was too much. I went into my survival mode. I just had to get through the days and not drop the ball on anything. If I got in a walk with the dog, great. If I didn't have time for even that amount of exercise, that's okay, too. No judgements.

It applied to my eating, too. I ate things that I haven't eaten since college (with good reason). I did what was easy and pleasing, and I didn't worry about it. It was nice at first. Then it wasn't anymore. There is a reason I eat well and try to take care of myself. After days of poor eating and little exercise, I felt awful. Problems that I haven't had in six years came back.

I'm done with it. I do not want to eat like this anymore. I'm looking forward to a day of salads. I'm itching to get in a run -  even if I have to run on my treadmill. I'm ready to go back to what works and what I enjoy.

I'm ready to start training again. It freaks me out to admit it, but I am starting to work toward a running goal. A half marathon. I used to run 13.1 miles without a problem, but I am pretty far away from that now. I'm starting over. Not quite back at square one but close.

I'm setting mini-goals and trying to remember how I started the last time. I'm definitely ready for the change. My friend asked me about my resolutions for 2016, and I started thinking about what I really want out of life. What's working and what isn't. Mostly, I am pretty pleased with my life.

I don't usually make resolutions since I tend to always have mini-goals going year-round. In the past, I would make resolutions about my health and weight, but I'd fail or change course during the year. I like mini-goals better. They're easier to achieve and create lasting habits. It works better than trying to change everything all at once. Baby steps.

I am going to make fun resolutions this year. I want to read a new book every month. I want to climb 10 mountains this year. I want to go somewhere new.

I have other goals - health, writing, peacefulness - , but they are not resolutions. They're big goals that may take longer than a year to complete. They may change as I go along. They're the constant goals that I am always working toward in one way or another.

I want my resolutions to be something I look forward to. Something I enjoy and can share with others. I won't want to blow them off, and they'll add so much more to my life than a resolution to lose 20 pounds.

Now that I'm getting myself back on track, I'm going to try to keep up with the blog. It will help keep me accountable for my training, too. I'm really going to focus on sticking to a training plan and training with a positive attitude. I've been feeling very negative about running, and that's not going to help me achieve my goals.

I'll write another time about my goals and what I'm doing to reach them, but for now, I am back to the blog, back to taking care of myself, and looking forward to a fun 2016.

Another Crazy Week

It's been another crazy week, but it started out in the best way. After my 12 miles on Sunday, I expected to be sore, but it wasn't bad. Yoga fixed most of it. Monday night I had TKD. It was a great class. Lots of plyometric training. At the end of class the yellow belts were promoted. The three of us started together, and we've worked really hard over the last year. My break didn't go well. It took four tries again, but it did finally break. It was frustrating, but I'm determined to get it first try at the next tournament.

It was such a great feeling to get promoted. I feel like I've turned a corner with TKD. I've started to set goals and focus on making progress. I'm one belt away from getting to do weapons training. The Bean is starting up weapons, and she is so excited. I have to say I'm jealous. She's starting with a Bo Staff, and it looks like so much fun. For now, I'll have to be content with starting a new pattern. I am excited about it. The patterns get more involved and cooler the further we progress. I love that there is always something new to learn.

Monday was a definite "life is good" kind of day. The rest of this week has been a bit more of a struggle. Tuesday I walked with a client - at a really brisk pace - and I worked out with a couple other clients. I got in a good body weight workout. Wednesday and Thursday I only got in a walk with the Moon Dog. We've been walking consistently all week.

This weekend I have an awesome date with Andy. I know we'll be going out to eat a couple times this weekend, so I need to set myself up for success. I'm running with my friend, Tracy, this morning. I haven't seen her all week. I'm psyched for a good run and chat. Tomorrow morning I am running again. I won't be back for our Sunday Runday, so Michelle and I rescheduled for Saturday. I also know that Andy and I will be doing a lot of walking tomorrow. It's going to be a good weekend.

I'm looking forward to the holiday break. I still have a couple jobs to do, but I get a break from my school-related ones. It will be nice to have more free time and time to spend with my family.

Setting Up For Success

Yesterday was sort of a rest day. I did a lot of moving around, but no workouts. I had an awesome girls' night with the Bean, one of her besties, and one of mine. We went out for sushi and watched a local, high school performance of Footloose. It was a blast.

I knew I would be having sushi for dinner, so I planned the rest of my food accordingly and stayed on track. My goal was to get through the weekend on track, and I have succeeded. I know today is not quite over, but I am confident I will make it.

I set myself up for success this morning and did 12 miles (and a ton of hills) with my friend, Michelle. I love our Sunday runs. It starts the week off right, and we get a chance to talk. It's exercise and therapy.

My legs were pretty sore after, but I wasn't done. I had a choreography rehearsal today and spent two hours dancing with my cast. They were phenomenal, and we put together a fairly complicated dance in two hours - with kids starting as young as four that's pretty impressive. I love what I do.

My legs are pretty much done now. Resting, family games, and writing are the plan for tonight. My eating is on track, and I feel really great. I had to change my mindset and get back to how I used to look at life. Positivity makes everything better. It's so nice to feel this way again.

I'm hoping my legs won't be too sore tomorrow. I've got TKD. Some yoga earlier in the day is going to be necessary. I'm looking forward to it.

Life is so very, very good.

Circuits and Plyos and Yoga...Oh My!

Two posts in one day!? Anything's possible if you start the day at 4am!

Today, I actually took a little time for myself before diving into the non-stop activities of the day. I saw a free moment and embraced it 100%. It was pouring rain this morning, so I decided not to run. I will run in the rain, but I don't enjoy it. It was too wet today, so I decided to do a circuit workout.

I need to add more circuits to my life. I used to do them all the time, and they're one of my favorite ways to train (after lifting, of course). I decided to do a mix of plyometrics and cardio. Not my favorite things, but ones that are necessary if I am ever going to get back in shape and get faster at TKD. So, I did some Plyos, some jump rope, some TKD moves, and threw in some weights for a bit of a break.

Proof!!

It was one of the best workouts I've done on my own in a long time. It was hard, but I felt good when it was over. I worked on this one move that we did in class on Monday that I was struggling with, and I saw a little improvement. I tend to have a difficult time getting up quickly from the floor. It was one of those moves, and it was hard. Still, I started to see improvement, and if I keep working on it, I think it will get much easier over time.

I followed my circuits with a half hour of yoga. Yoga is a necessity in my life, and I haven't been making time for it. Everything has been really tight, and I know I need to stretch more. It was great to really take the time to stretch and focus on my problem spots. Plus, it's great for my mental well being. This week has been a challenge, and when I am stressed it all seems to pile up. I felt better about everything after just a half an hour of breathing and stretching. Note to self: start making time for yoga!

I've also managed to stay on track with my eating. Considering that this has been one of the most stressful weeks I've had in the last 6 months, this is a huge victory. I'm feeling so much better after a week of eating healthy and controlled portions. Of course, now it's the weekend, but if I plan I should be okay. This is my mini goal - get through the weekend healthfully. I know I'm going out to dinner tomorrow night, but if I plan around it, I should still be able to stick to my plan.

Back On Track Again

This week has been brutally busy. That's why I'm blogging at 4:30 in the morning. No other time to do it. I'm exhausted, but I've also managed to stay on track with my eating. Exercise has been a struggle. The beginning of the week was great. I ran on Monday and didn't stop to walk. TKD class was great. We did a lot of conditioning, and I was sore the next day.

Tuesday I did a heavy leg workout and walked the Moon Dog. Combined with my previous days' exercise, I started to get really sore. I finished off Tuesday with a workout with some clients. Legs and abs and yoga. Ouch.

I haven't been sore like that in a while. I like feeling that way. Feels like I've really worked, and it's been a while since I have really gone all out. Most days I sit for long hours, and it's made me lazy. It feels good to finally be consistent.

I had high hopes for Wednesday and Thursday, but life got in the way. I managed to squeeze in walks with the pooch and some pushups, but that's it. Better than nothing, but I need to get back into it. Today I am determined to fit in a good workout. I want to up my cardio, so I am planning on a plyometric/jump rope workout. No more slacking.

My eating all week has been on track, which seems like a victory since I've been so busy and stressed. I'm determined not to stress eat any more.

The rest of life is going pretty well. Things are busy and crazy and stressful, but I'm also starting some great projects. I'm working on two holiday shows and starting the high school musical. Three great groups of actors. November and December are non-stop, but it's going to be a lot of fun.

TKD Recap

If I am completely honest, I would have to say that my greatest fear is failure. More than heights or spiders or anything else. I expect a lot from myself, and I am always afraid of not meeting my own (or others' perceived) expectations.

I failed hard on Saturday. I practiced, practiced, practiced. I nailed my break twice during our practice time at the tournament. But, it still took me 4 tries to break it when I got up there. My head just wasn't in the game, and tournaments are all mental. It bled over into sparring, and I was out the first round.

It was a much larger group than usual, and my nerves were a wreck. I'm not sure what a panic attack feels like, but I might have been having one. I had also totally psyched myself out the night before, and it bled over into tournament day. I could make a lot of excuses, but I won't. It wasn't my day. Simple as that.

So, the thing I fear the most happened, and you know what? It was good. Not at first, of course. I was frustrated and mad at myself because I know I can do better, but I learned a lot from watching the other competitors. I know what I did wrong and what I need to work on. It took some time to process, but once I did, I knew it was a good thing that I failed so hard in front of all of those people.

Because now it's happened. And, I survived. It wasn't horribly embarrassing. The world didn't end. Honestly, it reignited something in me that I've been missing for a while. I feel like it freed me to just go for it at the next one because I have nothing to lose.

I don't usually like to admit when I really care about something because I feel like I'm setting myself up to fail. Horrible mindset, I know. I do care about TKD. I want to do well. I'm committing to working 200% harder, so next time I will improve. I'm not going to worry about failing or looking stupid because who cares? This is just for me, and at least I am out there trying.

I didn't get to this conclusion immediately. I took a 9 miles walk with my TKD partner in crime, Michelle, on Sunday, and she was kind enough to listen to me ramble until I had my head straight. I really don't know what I'd do without her.

My kids had a great tournament, which made things better. The Bean kicked some serious ass. She's a powerhouse. It's funny because she's quiet and doesn't ever seem too nervous, but when she gets out there, she gets it done. Gold in breaking and silver in sparring. She's only half-way through her new pattern, so she opted not to do it. She'll be ready in time for the next one.

The Artist was probably the biggest success of the day. He got third in patterns and third in sparring, but it wasn't the medals that mattered. It was his attitude. Last year he got nervous and didn't do very well. Then he got upset. And stayed upset. All. Day. Long.

I wasn't sure he would want to try another tournament, but he did. We talked a lot about having a positive attitude and trying his best. He worked really hard, and his pattern was great. He was so excited when he finished that he jumped in the air and cheered. Not really what he's supposed to do, but he was so proud and happy that I don't think anyone cared.

His break didn't go well, but he didn't get upset and went into sparring with a good attitude. He was happy when he was done, and he wore his medals to school today. Such an improvement over last year. I told him he got a gold in the indomitable spirit category. So proud of him.

It was a great example for me, too. No matter how mad/disappointed/frustrated I felt when I was done, I had to smile and keep my stuff together. I talk to the kids constantly about having a good attitude. It was time to practice what I preach.

I got a lot out of this tournament. More than the others. I'm excited to get back into it tonight at class and start getting ready for the next one. I'm certainly not ready to give up.

I kept it going this morning with a run. I've been slacking lately and walking a lot. This time I didn't let myself walk. I need to build my mental toughness more than anything else. I can keep feeling bad because the Em who ran a marathon is no longer around, or I can get it together and find her again - or maybe even a better version this time. That's the goal for now.

TKD On My Mind

I think my mojo is finally coming back. The last couple months I have not been feeling it. It's been a struggle to stay motivated. Which is even more frustrating because I can remember how easy and fun it all used to be. TKD is bringing it back.

TKD is what I'm thankful for today. The first tournament of the season is tomorrow, and I am excited. We had such a blast last year. We get to see our TKD friends, watch some awesome competitors, and push ourselves. Plus, we get to break boards, which is my favorite part. I'm a little nervous about getting my break on the first try, but I'm going to think positive and practice, practice, practice.

Taekwondo has been a life changer. I love watching my kids grow in ability and confidence. It's a huge change from year to year, and I'm so proud of them. We have a great time practicing together, too. I'm so glad that I started taking classes and that we can train together. So much fun.

Practicing - the only time they can fight without getting in trouble.

I've been training for almost a year and a half, and it's made me a different person. Breaking a board with your foot will do that. It's a great confidence booster. I love that TKD is all about personal development. The only competition is with myself. I love doing patterns because we spend a long time perfecting each one. The pattern I'm doing tomorrow, I have been working on for a year. There are still things that could be improved. There's always room for improvement. It's been really good for me. I tend to want immediate results. TKD makes me slow down and focus on the little details. I'm developing patience.

The people are wonderful. The class is supportive and not judgmental. My kids and I have made some great friends through TKD - especially my TKD twin, Michelle.

Our first tournament - one year ago!

The black belts at the tournaments are supportive and helpful. I learn a lot every time I compete. It's a really positive atmosphere. Did I mention I'm excited?

So, with the tournament in mind, I am keeping my eating clean today and exercising carefully. I took the Moon Dog for a 3 mile walk this morning, followed by Pilates. I'm not doing anything that could injure me. I just got over one injury, and I would like to compete when I'm feeling good. The last tournament I went to, I had injured my knee and had to do my break with my left foot - surprisingly, it went really well. Still, I hate being injured.

In addition to walking and Pilates, I am going to practice, practice, practice. As long as I feel like I have prepared the best I can and tried my hardest, I will be okay with whatever happens tomorrow. I don't need medals. I just want to be happy with my performance.

Running With The Moon Dog

I had a pretty good class last night. We did some tournament prep, which was fun. I'm even more excited about the tournament this weekend. I'm feeling good about my pattern and my break, but sparring continues to be my weak area. When we're training, I understand the way to put things together, but as soon as I am up against someone, it all flies out of my head. It's frustrating, but I know what I need to work on. The kids and I will will be practicing this week, and I'll try to focus on my weaknesses. I'm excited to learn new things at the tournament, too. It's such a fun day, and there are so many talented black belts to offer advice.

Today is all about getting in whatever exercise I can. I started the day with a walk with the Moon Dog. The weather is amazing today - sunny, mid-60s, so very unlike a normal November in VT. I wanted to take advantage of it and decided to take Moon Dog running.

I wasn't sure how it would go. It's been almost a year since I ran with him, and I wasn't sure if he would be agreeable. He settled into it immediately, and we had a great run. We only did 1.11 miles, but it was enough for him. I'm thrilled that he was so agreeable. Now, we can substitute a couple runs for our daily walks. Good for both of us.

Happy, tired pup!

I've got circuit training and yoga tonight, which should be a lot of fun. I like the small bits of exercise throughout the day, but I am ready for a good, long workout. My food is on track for the day. I just need to make sure I drink enough water. So far, I'm still on track. Day 3!

The Month Of Goals

This week is not off to a great start, but I am determined to stay on track. No more stress eating. So far, my November goals are going well. I got in an interval run yesterday and ate well. Today, I'm planning another short run, and I have TKD tonight. Last class before the tournament on Saturday. I'm excited for the tournament. They're a lot of fun, and we get to spend the day with our TKD friends.

November is full of goals and projects. In addition to my health goals, I am participating in NaNoWriMo again. It's been a few years since I did it, but this year the beginning of the month lined up with the beginning of a new book. I have a lot of editing that needs to be done, but I am feeling the urge to write.

I'm also starting three plays this month. Two for the holidays and one that will go up in February. I love the beginning of a show. It's all creativity and almost no stress. Plus, holiday plays are my favorite. So much fun.

I'm really looking forward to this month. It's going to be as busy as last month, but I feel like I am going into it with a much more positive attitude. That's my last goal for the month. I need to get back into a more positive head space. I like the idea of posting something I am thankful for every day this month. But, I need to be realistic. It probably won't be daily. I will be thankful daily. It just may not make it into a post. So, I'm just going to try for a thankful moment in every post I manage to write.

Today (and every day), I am thankful for my friends. They're the best. We had a blast trick-or-treating, and then I took the kids to one of their houses to watch a movie. I'm an introvert, and I like relaxing at home - especially after a whirlwind day like Halloween. It says something when it's just as relaxing to hang out at a friend's house. It was a great end to the day.

Starting Over

It's been a long time since I posted. Life has been crazy. I've been sick, had an injury, and really have just been feeling blah. No mojo. No interest in eating healthy or exercising. The thing is - this is the time I most need to be focused. Halloween through Christmas is a difficult time. Yummy food is everywhere, and our schedule is crazy.
I've set a couple of goals for November. I need something to keep me accountable. I follow this awesome blog called Run, Eat, Repeat. She does an accountability event every November called Pile on the Miles. You set a goal, check in weekly, and can possibly win prizes for staying on track. I've never participated before, but this seemed like the perfect thing to keep me focused. I set a goal for consistency - running 3x a week (one long/ two short). I need to get back into the habit of regular running, and I want to rebuild my base.
I've added one other goal. My friend, Michelle, invited me to join a virtual race during the Thanksgiving holiday. It benefits ALS and is put on by Swim Bike Mom. I like that I can choose my own distance, and it will be a good goal to train for during November. Plus, a perfect jump start to staying consistent this winter.
Starting over. It feels like I am always starting over. I'm definitely ready to get focused and feel better. I always feel better when I eat healthy and workout.

A Week Of Exercise

Last week was a pretty good week. It started out rough. Monday I had a tough TKD class. I was feeling really off, and nothing went well. I was frustrated. I decided that Tuesday would be a better day, and I would practice TKD. I want to improve. That takes work. I did a circuit workout of TKD and practiced my pattern. I followed that with a heavy leg workout. It was a good day.

Wednesday and Thursday got away from me. I walked the Moon Dog, but that was the only exercise I did. Friday I did a heavy dead lift / pushup workout followed by an upper body workout. I've lost a little strength, but I'm still at a pretty good dead lift weight.

Saturday was another day off. Too much going on. Sunday I went for an amazing hike with my friends. It's almost peak foliage, and it was a beautiful morning.

This morning I ran with a friend. It was a beautiful morning, and we did just under 4 miles. Great start to the day, and it really helped loosen up my sore legs. I walked Moon Dog another 2 miles, and I have TKD tonight. I'm feeling really motivated today. I might throw in a biceps/triceps/shoulders workout, too. I've missed lifting.

Epically Good Day

This day has been epically good.

I took this guy to Waterbury this morning for the Leaf Peeper Half Marathon/5k.

He was excited about everything. His shirt, the Bove's spaghetti sauce, his number, the 33 porta potties... It was a fun day. We ran most of the 5k, and he had a great positive, attitude the whole time. People cheered for him, and when he crossed the finish line they announced he was the youngest finisher. He liked that.

My favorite part was near the end. Just before we got to the finish line, he told me he wanted to fly over the finish line. I said, "Go for it.", and he took off. Beat me by a good 6 seconds. He asked if we could do it again next year, and I definitely agreed we should. Love my running buddy. We had such a great time.

This whole weekend has been great. Yesterday I got up early and hiked with a bunch of awesome ladies. We hiked my favorite mountain. It was cold. We saw snow near the top and a gigantic porcupine. It was an awesome morning.

Awesome weekend.

Hello, DOMS

It's been 2 days since I did Leg Day. Hello, DOMS.

My legs hurt a lot. I haven't been this sore in a long time, and honestly, I'm enjoying it. I pushed myself to do a hard workout, and I followed it up by working out with a couple of my clients that evening (again - tons of leg stuff).

I've been feeling a lot more motivated lately. Some of it has to do with not being sick anymore (yay!), but some of it also comes from dropping down to the 5k. I didn't realized how stressed I was about the half until I decided not to do it. I'm sleeping better, feeling calmer, and have so much more motivation. Still, I don't need any of those reasons to justify my choice. The Artist is so excited about the race, and that is all I need as proof that I made the right decision. We're going to have so much fun!

My growing motivation has been bleeding over into other areas of my life. I'm working on several writing projects right now and have been making a lot more progress lately. I'm getting in at least an hour of work every day. I'll take what I can get.

I'm super excited to go hiking on Saturday morning. It's foliage season and the perfect weather for hiking. Plus, I love an early morning hike with friends.

Life is good.

I Quit

Confession: I'm a quitter. Surprisingly, I'm okay with this. I almost never quit. I've spent my whole life meeting goals. I hate giving up.

I'm trying to do things differently. I've been feeling stressed and buried under commitments. I decided to cut back on responsibilities. I want to enjoy my life and focus on just a few projects. I need less stress.

For the last week or so, I have been feeling pretty stressed about the half. I've lost my mojo. My long runs haven't gone well. I keep trying to not care about how slow I am, but it's nagging at me. I've been dreading the run. I just don't feel ready for it, and I'm not having fun.

The whole point of signing up was to start running again. I wanted to find a way to enjoy it again. I was there for a while. I wanted to run. I looked forward to it. I loved it again. Then I got closer to race time, and I started to worry. I ran less. I wasn't as excited to run.

I want to enjoy it. Running is so great. It makes me feel good and helps me stay positive. I don't want to lose the enjoyment of it. I want it to be fun.

You know what sounds fun? Dropping down to the 5k and running it with the Artist. It will be his first race, and he is so excited. This is why I am okay with being a quitter. This is the right choice. I'm not in a competitive head space. I'm not looking for anything serious. Some fun mother/son time is absolutely perfect.

I'm still planning on some races in 2016. I'm sure I'll get back to a place where I feel ready to run distance again, but right now I just need to enjoy it. I love that the Artist has become my new running buddy. He's a great motivator. I'm so excited for Sunday now.

For now my fitness goals are going to be based in consistency. I want to lift 3x/week and run 2-3x/week (whatever distance I choose). I also want to work more on Taekwondo. Tournament season is coming, and I want to do my best.

I have to accept that I am not where I used to be, and it is going to take time to get back there. I can't expect it to all change at once. Slow and steady all fall and winter is my goal. Build a base. It will make training easier in the spring/summer. It's time for hiking and (soon) snowshoeing. Two of my favorite workouts that pair perfectly with my slow and steady goal.

Of course now that I am motivated again, I am sick. I've been a mess for a couple days. I'm hoping to feel good enough to do a strength workout tomorrow. It will be fairly light/easy. I'm not rushing into anything. One day at a time. Slow and steady.

Annual Birthday Hike

Confession time. I missed my last long run. My half is in a week and a half, and I'm feeling pretty confident. Not that I will be fast. It's going to be a long run. I'm hoping there isn't a cutoff time, but I'm okay, no matter how long it takes. I took a long time off from running. I am not in the same shape I was, and if I can complete the half I will be happy.

I missed my run on Sunday. I slept through all of my alarms. I don't remember them going off, but I must have turned them off. I tried running later in the day, but it just didn't happen. I walked 4 miles. I ran a little, but it was a struggle.

Monday I had TKD. It was a great class. We learned a fun, new punch. It took me a long time to figure it out. My pattern is getting better. I'm definitely struggling with parts of it, but it's slowly getting better. I don't think I've ever worked so hard to perfect something. I've had to really focus on the tiny details. It was a great class, and my muscles were sore this morning.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, and that means hiking. Every year she goes for hike. Last year we hiked Laraway. This year she wanted to do Jay Peak. I love Jay. It was a great day for a hike. We had a lot of fun and lots of good girl talk.

I followed our hike with yoga and a run with the kids. I'm definitely sore this morning.

Still, I got up early this morning and went for a run with Tracy. It ended up being a lot of walking. I stepped on some loose rocks and twisted my knee. It was not feeling good this morning, so I took it easy. Something is better than nothing.

I'm feeling completely wiped out. Just exhausted. The Artist is home today, too. Not feeling well, tired. Looks like we're staying home and napping today. He's already asleep.

I'm trying to stay positive about the race. The usual doubts are creeping in. Trying to focus on finishing and having fun. Time doesn't matter. Finish. Have fun. That's my mantra for this one. It's so nice to be back to running and actually enjoying it. That's the most important thing.

Making It Better

It's been a while since I posted anything. Life has been hectic, and if I'm honest, I've been struggling to keep everything straight. Exercise has been helping a lot. Monday was TKD. It was a good class, and I worked hard. Always enjoy that class. Tuesday, I taught yoga for the first time in months. It was great. It felt so good to stretch and relax.

Yesterday, I got up early and lifted. I have also not been lifting lately, and it was great to start that again. I'm feeling it this morning. My legs are sore. This morning I slept through my alarm. I was planning on running this afternoon, but I had a really annoying morning and decided I needed a run.

Five miles later I felt a lot better. I had planned on just doing a couple miles, but once I got going, I wanted to keep going. Feeling good now.

New Things

Today was all about new things.

I had a 12 mile run to do, which is a distance I have not done in two years. It felt new. I also was trying several new products. Probably not the greatest idea to do them all at once and add it to a long run, but I've only got a few weeks left. Luckily, it went well.

New Mizunos!

The Asics have been fine, but they feel heavy and clumpy. I like to run races in Mizunos. I found a pair for super cheap, and they are beautiful. Most shoes need to be broken-in, but I've never needed to do that with Mizunos. They are ready to go. I did a 2 miler on Saturday morning, and they felt great. I knew I'd be okay for 12. They were comfortable the whole time. Love these shoes!!!

New Hydration Backpack!

I've been wanting one of these for a while. I'm excited to use it for hiking and bike rides, too. I wasn't sure how I would feel about running with a pack, but it was hardly noticeable, and being hydrated for the whole run was incredible. I struggle with swollen hands and dry mouth during most long runs, and this time it wasn't an issue. Loved it.

Ucan?

I was not sure how I would like this new kind of liquid nutrition. I used to use Gu, but it made me ill after a while. I can't eat them now. Michelle let me try some of the stuff she uses for triathalon training. It's made of all good stuff and offered consistent energy throughout my run. This was very impressive to me. The tough stuff didn't hit me until the last mile. I felt really good for most of the run, and when I started to struggle I still managed to finish with run/walk intervals. I've never felt that strong on a long run. The taste was mild and not disgusting. Not my favorite. It had a strange texture, but again, not unpleasant. It worked really well, and I'll definitely be using it for the half.

It was a good run. Did I walk? Sometimes, but they were shorter stretches. I really tried to focus on keeping my walks short this time. Was I fast? No. Definitely not. But, I felt good. I didn't push the pace. I did what I felt like doing but tried to push myself. I was hurting by the end, but I feel great about it. It went well, and I have a 12-miler under my belt. It's been a while since I've done that.

I'm still doing well with my eating. I've stayed on-track all weekend. This is huge for me. I tend to eat/drink whatever I want when I travel or at special occasions. This time I was determined to stick to the plan and made sure I brought plenty of healthy snacks. It worked.

Grumpy

I'm having a grumpy day.

It happens, and usually I can do something to make it go away. Today it took a lot longer than usual. One big help was going for a run. The only good thing about running angry is that it improves my pace. I ran my second fastest pace in a long, long time today.

This whole week has been challenging. TKD switched back to Mondays, and my legs were super sore from running and hiking on Sunday. Class was tough, and things did not go overly well. I definitely know what I need to work on.

Tuesday morning was great. I expected to be sore, but I actually felt pretty good. I did a short run (2 miles) because I was short on time, but it was the fastest I've run in a long time. No earbuds seems to be the best way for me to train. Then evening came, and I started not feeling very well. I ended up being sick for two days.

Thursday I started to feel better as the day went on, so I did a short upper body workout. It wasn't much, but it took a lot out of me. Today I'm feeling better (except for the irritated/grumpy morning). I took the Moon Dog for a walk and went for a run. Tomorrow I am hoping to get in an early morning run before we go to a wedding. This weekend is packed, and I won't have a chance to run. I'm moving my long run to Monday.


I've also taken control of my diet. I've been feeling really sluggish and terrible lately, and I knew something needed to change. My friend asked me to do Wholefoods 30 with her, and I decided to give it a shot. It's been okay so far. It's fairly restricted, but I already see and feel a difference. I'm really interested to see what happens after 30 days.

The hardest part, surprisingly, has been not weighing myself every day. The idea is to weigh in at the beginning and the end, and I'm really trying to stick to it. I didn't realize how much of a habit weighing myself had become.

This weekend is going to be a challenge, and I am trying to prepare as best I can. We're going to a wedding and going camping. I know I can stick to it, but it will take some planning. I'll let you know how it goes...

Perfection.

Yesterday was perfection.

Our summer was more work than play, and we really needed a good family day. We surprisingly had an empty schedule yesterday, and we decided it was a family fun day.

I had a run planned, so I went out before anyone else was awake and did 7.5 miles. It wasn't as long as I should have gone, but I knew I couldn't be completely spent for our family day. I also had a few technical difficulties while running that reminded me that I need to buy some more Glide. Ouch.

Once everyone was awake and showered, we went out for breakfast at the Dairy Center. Good food. Good prices. Great staff. It was a perfect start to our adventures. We needed the fuel.

Next we packed up and went to Mt. Pisgah. It is a beautiful hike, and we stopped a lot to climb big rocks and play in the streams and little waterfalls. The end of the hike is super steep, and we all struggled with it. But, no one complained. We tried to keep it fun. The view was total worth it. We had a picnic and stared at Lake Willoughby. It's one of the most beautiful places in Vermont.

After we got back to our car it was time for the next phase of our trip - swimming. But, I surprised the kids by stopping for ice cream at a nearby store. We sat outside and looked at the lake while we ate. Then we finally went and got in the water that we'd been staring at all day.

It was such a great day and very much needed. Everyone was in good spirits, and we just enjoyed being together. The kids were completely exhausted and went to sleep without a complaint. Perfect.

Everyone was sore this morning. My legs are really, really sore. And, I have TKD tonight. Should be an interesting class. But, no matter how difficult it is tonight, it was totally worth it. And as the Artist said this morning, "even if it's hard it will make you 100 times better."

Happy hikers

Struggling and Bonding

After having an awesome running week last week, this one is not going so well. Sunday, I was supposed to do 10 miles, but it didn't happen. It was hot. My legs were heavy and sore from the 6 miles I did with the Artist on Saturday. I managed 6.65 miles instead.

I took Monday off. My legs and hips were so sore. I knew I needed to give them a day off. I did an upper body workout instead. I didn't do anything heavy, but I definitely felt it the next day. Tuesday, I got up to run. My legs were still really sore, but I forced myself out the door and went for a run. It didn't go well. My shins were burning immediately. My legs would not loosen up. I did around 2 miles, but there was definitely some walking.

Today I'm lifting. Dead lifts and push ups. After school, we have decided that after homework the kids and I will read for 20 minutes and then they have 20 minutes to practice music, do art, read, write, or exercise. The Artist has decided he loves exercising. Yesterday he ran for 10 minutes on the treadmill and did 10 minutes of ab exercises. Today he wants to lift with me. I have to say I love his new interest in fitness. It's great bonding time.

Our schedule has changed this year, and we're going to be home at a reasonable time most evenings. I'm so excited. It's so great that the kids will have more time for fun. I feel like we're starting to find some balance in life.

An Epic Journey

This has been a great fitness week for me and my kids. Tuesday the kids had TKD promotions. I love watching them meet their goals. They worked hard all summer, and they were both so excited about their new belts. I love seeing how proud they are of themselves. There are so many benefits to TKD. It's so much more than just a new belt. It builds their confidence, gives them pride, and teaches them perseverance.

I had a good TKD class this week as well. It was not an easy class. It was hot. I worked my butt off and felt confused and like I was messing everything up. But, by the end of class, I was starting to understand. I could see a little progress. We ended with sparring, which last year made me nervous because everyone was watching. This time I found myself focused on what I was trying to achieve. I didn't do very well, but I wasn't worried about what anyone was thinking. To me, that is huge progress. TKD has given me so much more confidence. It's incredible.

It was a good running week, too. I ran Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. It was great. I was motivated and felt great after. Wednesday, I was feeling sore and tired. I was running with a couple other ladies who didn't mind walking, so we ran a mile and walked two more. Thursday, I didn't run. TKD was enough, and I needed a day off.

Friday ended up being a day off, too. My hip was tight and sore following TKD, and I was feeling really tired. I slept in and felt a lot better after getting some extra Zs. We went to Crystal Lake in the late afternoon, and I swam some laps. I worked a little at breathing during the crawl. It's still difficult. I need a lot more work on swimming. Still, I love swimming, and it felt great on my tired legs.

Today has been the best day of the week. The Artist wanted to run. He asked if we could have an epic journey and run/walk into Enosburg from our house (what I thought was 5 miles). I want to encourage his love of running, so I agreed. I got to have a great workout with my favorite little guy.

We had a blast. It was a perfect morning. Warm, but not too hot. Sunshine. Blue skies. Perfection. We walked to the Rail Trail and started running. We ran a lot in the first half. He was excited and kept saying, "I can't believe we're doing this! I know we can do it!" He had such a great attitude. I let him dictate the pace and distance of our runs. We're working on pacing, and he does pretty well. But, sometimes you have to go all out and race your mom. I definitely did some sprinting.

Our longest run/walk before this morning was 2 miles. I didn't want to push it and have him hate it, so I gave him an out. At the halfway point, I offered to have Andy come pick us up. He enthusiastically denied the offer. He was going to do the whole thing - no matter what. This attitude thrills me.

We walked a lot more in the second half, but we still did some run intervals right up to the end. He was definitely getting tired. Our pace was slower, but the conversation wasn't. We had such a great talk, and I am looking forward to more of these moments. We discussed the idea of being proud of finishing and not needing to come in first. He tends to get really discouraged when he doesn't win, and I wanted him to understand that running is just about trying your best.

He definitely got it. The moment he saw that we had reached town he said, "We did it!" He walked taller, and the expression on his face was priceless. We high-fived and bragged to our friends at The Flying Disc. We celebrated with smoothies, and Andy picked us up. We ended up doing over 6 miles. It was an epic journey and so completely worth it.

Lots O' Running

This week is off to a good start. Yesterday I got up early to run. It's staying dark longer in the mornings. Summer is coming to an end. In another week the kids start school, and life goes back to the usual routine. I'm a little torn about it. I'm looking forward to being back on my schedule and having time to work, write, and run. At the same time, I worked a lot this summer. We didn't get to do as many family trips as we had hoped because of car problems. I just want a little more time to spend with the whole family. The school year is always so busy.

Anyway, back to my runs. Yesterday's run was great. I felt good. I ran almost all of it. I was glad to get it in early. It was almost 90 degrees yesterday, but the morning was in the mid-60s. Nice running weather. This morning I wanted to run again. I just had to do it. It was harder this morning. My shins and hips ached. I walked more than yesterday but didn't go that much slower. I'm glad I got it done. It's supposed to be even hotter today.

I'm meeting some friends tomorrow, too. Three days of running in a row. I'm pretty proud of myself. It's nice to want to run and not feel like I have to do it.

I do need to do some yoga today, though. My legs are really tight. I'm going to take Thursday off from running because I have TKD. Friday, I'll run, and Sunday is my long run day. Lots of running this week. I'm enjoying it.

I've always felt like I had to run. Finally starting to enjoy it.

Perfection.

Today began perfectly.

We got up earlier than usual and were on the mountain by 4:30am. It was a dark hike up the mountain, but we were greeted by an absolutely perfect sunrise at the top. I can't think of a better way to start the day.

It was a fast hike, too. We got to the top in 50 minutes. My legs were feeling it. I had TKD last night, and we did a ton of hip, glutes, and leg work. My muscles were jelly by the time we got to the top.

Today, we're finishing up Rock Camp. It's been a fun week at work. It's been really great to watch the kids learn and improve over the week, and they're so excited for their performance tonight. I am so grateful to have a job that I enjoy.

I'm also hoping to get some writing done this afternoon. I've got several projects going right now, including a new play. On Sunday I get to go see one of my scripts performed as part of Ten Fest, a show made up of ten short plays (10 minutes each). I've been lucky enough to have my scripts chosen for this show several times, but this is the first time in years that I've been able to go see the show. I'm excited. I'm bringing the Bean with me. I think she'll love it.

Hiking and writing. Today is a good day.

Just Good

Today was so good.

I got up early to run. It was lightly drizzling and the perfect temperature. It was dark, so I decided to stay on the sidewalks. I ran an random, zig-zagging route around town. I got in almost 3 miles. It felt great and loosened up my legs.

I did a second run later in the morning with my favorite running buddy. The Artist requested a run, and I let him lead me around town. We covered 1.3 miles and ran almost all of it. He is getting fast. Once he develops his stamina, I am going to have to work to catch up. I love that he enjoys running. It's some great bonding time, and he's so proud when we're done. It's so amazing.

It was such a good day.

So Close

I had a long run on my training plan for today. 9 miles. It's been a long time since I ran that far, but I was ready and excited to do it. Yesterday was an active rest day, so I took the Moon Dog for a walk and practiced my TKD pattern. My legs were feeling refreshed and up to the task.

I chose a really hilly route. I don't have many flat options. There are hills in every direction. I need to run hills anyway because the Leaf Peeper is a hilly course. Plus, I like a challenge. I also decided to try for 10 miles instead of 9. Like I said, I like a challenge. Might as well get uncomfortable. It's been a very long time since I did a double-digit run, and while they're tough, I also secretly love them.

My mind is always the biggest challenge when I run. It's hard to not compare my run to a time when it was easier. I remember running every hill without too much trouble (back when I was training for the marathon). Today I walked some of the hills. I'm just not in that place anymore. I'm learning to accept that, and I know that with consistency I will get back to that place again. Still, it can be hard to stay positive. That was my goal today. Stay positive, walk when needed, and enjoy the run.

I did pretty well. I went slow, but I got it done.

My wonderful husband brought me water and food after I'd done about 7 miles. I'm very lucky that he is so supportive of my crazy endurance habit and willing to bring me supplies and pick me up when needed. I was really happy to see him today. It was hot, and my hands were swollen from lack of water. I took a break, refueled, and we hit a few balls at the driving range before I continued my run.

The break was nice at first (and definitely fun), but I regretted it once I started going again. My legs were tight and not interested in loosening up again. The heat was worse, and I was running in an area with no shade. It was rough. I pushed through for a while, but I was getting close to crashing and quickly texted Andy to pick me up and bring more water.

My total distance was 9.75 miles. So close! Still, it felt good to get a good long run in, and I'm enjoying the post-run soreness. I did it! And, I'll do it again. Next week I will get into the double digits. That's my next goal. I'm happy with what I did today, though. It's reminding me that I can do this again and get back to the place I was before.

Brutal Morning Hike

My legs are officially toast.

Wednesday's leg workout and yesterday's run added up to a very uncomfortable hike this morning. I was up before the sun to hike Haystack. I've hiked it before with Tracy, and I remembered that it was tough. I haven't been doing nearly enough hiking this summer, and combined with the already exhausted legs, I knew I was in for a rough hike.

Haystack is steep. We spent most of the time scrambling up steep, slippery rocks and avoiding (or not) deep, sucking mud puddles. It was challenging but also a lot of fun. It was really nice to have some time with friends and be out in nature, even if it was brutal.

About two-thirds of the way up, my legs started to get really, really tired. They were wobbly, and my pace was definitely slowing down. I felt better when we finally got to the top and had a snack. It was foggy, and we didn't have a view, but it was still great to be at the top.

The thing about Haystack is that going down is a lot harder than going up. All of those slippery rocks that we climbed? Now we got to go down. I spent a lot of time on my backside. It was kind of fun to slide down the rocks, though it ruined my yoga pants. I was prepared for this and wore my oldest, rattiest pair. It was their final hurrah.

It was a great morning, and I've been hobbling around all day. Tomorrow is definitely an upper body day.

Good hike.

I just finished today's run, which is weird because I am almost exclusively a morning runner. Last night I slept terribly, and when my alarm went off I decided to stay in bed instead of getting up for my run. I knew we had a night off (weird) and that I could get more sleep and still get in a run, so I went for it.

It was a great run. I did one of my favorite routes, but it was busier than usual because I'm used to going in the early morning. I had to do high-knees through knee-deep grass whenever cars passed, and I was passed a lot. I was also fighting through sore legs because I did a leg workout yesterday, and the DOMS had just started to set in when I started running. My shins were really sore for the first couple miles.

The funny thing was that it was one of the best runs I've had in awhile. I ran a lot more of it than I have been lately. I'd gone two miles before I even considered a walk break. My legs felt good and strong (even though sore), and I really enjoyed the run. I was looking forward to it, and I enjoyed an audiobook while I ran. The temperature was absolutely perfect, and it was mostly cloudy. It only got hot when the sun came out. I love it when it goes well.

I did five miles, which is a little more than what was on my training plan, but I also missed Tuesday's run. I figure it balances out. Tomorrow I am getting up super early to hike, and I have a exercise-packed weekend planned as well. Finally starting to get back into a groove. It feels great.

My weekend workouts have set in. My legs were sore this morning (though not as sore as I'd thought I would be), and my shins hurt. Last night was much more painful. I knew today would be an upper body day.

I started the day with a walk with the Moon Dog. It loosened up my legs, and started my day right. This afternoon I did an upper body workout and threw in some practice on my TKD pattern. I've missed my weights, and my strength has definitely gone down a little. I hate that feeling.

But, I love the feeling I get from lifting. I feel strong. And alive.

Tomorrow is another early run. I can't wait. My legs are feeling a lot better, and I am excited to run again. It just takes a week of consistency to start getting back into a routine. It's nice to be excited to run again.

Consistency and Junk Food

This morning I got up early and met Michelle for a run. We did one of my favorite routes. Lots of rolling hills and beautiful scenery. It ended up being 6.2 miles - a 10k. I walked quite a bit. My legs were super sore after the 20-mile bike ride yesterday. I'm happy with what I did today.

It's all about consistency.

You know what hasn't been consistent lately (always)? My eating. I'd been doing okay, but last night was not good. Today has been half and half. I find healthy eating to be difficult. I'm thinking about following a stricter plan for a little while. I need the motivation and it will make me feel better when I'm working out (and all the time).

Overall, I'm feeling good. Life is good. I'm motivated to train for my half. I'm excited about it. I just need to fix the eating. It will make everything easier.

Good.

Ahhh... Life is finally getting back to normal. I've gotten some sleep. Spent some time with my family, and I've gotten in some good workouts and clean eating. I'm feeling calm and centered again. It's so nice to feel balanced.

I've had some good workouts this week. Wednesday I was not feeling 100% and slept most of the day. This always happens after a show. I put everything I had into the show, and I needed to recover. Thursday started out the same as Wednesday, but I felt better as the day went on. My friend, Michelle, and I went for a walk before TKD and had a great chat. I really needed it. It was a great warm-up for class, too. My flexibility was a lot better than normal.

TKD was great. I couldn't go for the last two weeks, and I was really missing it. I was a little nervous and expected to get my butt kicked. I was not disappointed. Class was excellent. I feel like I learn quite a bit and have a lot to work on. That's why I love TKD. There is always something new to learn and something to improve. I just got a book on TKD, and I'm excited to learn more of the history.

Friday the Artist and I did a lot of walking. We covered almost three miles during the day. It was perfect to keep myself loose after TKD.

This morning I joined a couple friends for a bike ride. It's only been a year since I started biking again, and I haven't done much. My longest ride was about four miles. Today we did twenty. It was a gorgeous morning. I saw a rainbow as I drove in to meet my friends, and it was lightly raining when we started. The sunrise was beautiful, and we enjoyed the scenery as we rode from Enosburg to Richford.

I was getting tired as we got close to the turnaround point. I forgot to bring any kind of fuel and my breakfast was gone. I was hungry and tired. Luckily, Kelee brought her fabulous Super Healthy Cookies to share with us. I felt 100% better and the ride back was pretty great.

We finished off the morning with drinks at the Flying Disc. It was a perfect start to a Saturday morning. We're planning longer trips, and I am so excited to do more biking. It was fun, relaxing, and an amazing workout. Plus, I got to hang out with some awesome ladies. It's nice to have some social time again.

In other news, my new writing project is going well. I've always wanted to write a musical, but I don't have any experience with writing music. I'm excited to work with such a talented and creative musician and even more excited to work with my friend!

Life is good.

Epic

This morning was a pretty successful morning. I got up early. I got myself out the door, and I went for a 3.15 mile run. It was a gorgeous morning. It was foggy, but the sun was starting to break through. It was a little humid, but not terrible. My legs felt good, and I was ready for a good workout.

I took minimal walking breaks and really pushed myself to keep going. I focused on enjoying the run, and it made it a lot easier. I tried to keep my body loose. I didn't let my thoughts go negative. It was a definite accomplishment. I've been relying heavily on others to keep me running, but that doesn't work very well. If I'm going to be able to run a half marathon in October, I need to start relying on myself. I love running with other people, but I also need to stick to my training plan. Plus, I'd almost forgotten how wonderful a solo run can be. I almost never have quiet time by myself. It was refreshing to be alone with my thoughts.

I felt great after my run. I had plenty of time left to walk Moon Dog before anyone else was awake. He was super excited, and it was a gorgeous morning for a walk.

My legs are definitely tired now. Luckily, the Artist and I are going to the lake. A day of swimming is just what I need. I'm relaxing today. Its going to be great, or a my favorite little guy likes to say, "this day is going to be epic."

What's Next?

I am currently in a horrible state of transition. The musical was a great experience, but it was exhausting. I ate terribly. I didn't exercise. I skipped my training plan runs. I barely slept. The stress was high. Now, I'm done with it, and I have a Monday night free. What do I do with myself? I'm a goal-oriented person. I always need to be working toward something.

New goals. I've got my exercise goal. The half is exactly what I need to get back on track. Now I need a creative/writing goal. My super-talented friend and I have been talking about writing a musical together. I think now is the perfect time.

Tonight I just enjoyed having a night off. I made a healthy dinner with veggies that the Artist and I picked up at the farm stand. The Bean is at camp all day, so we get to hang out. The farm stand was today's adventure. He had a good time picking out veggies and promised to try corn on the cob even though he doesn't like corn. It makes a big difference when he is involved in the planning/execution of a meal. He's much more open-minded.

We also went for a run. He's been showing interest in running, and I am thrilled. He is an awesome running buddy. We don't run very far, but we run fast and take walking breaks. We ran over half a mile today, and it was the most fun I have ever had running. We ran uphill first, and he did great on the hills. Then on the way down, he took off, and I watched his joy as he sprinted down the hill. I realized I was holding back and going slow, and I decided to run more like the Artist. I ran faster, swung my arms, and just enjoyed it.

This is what I need. I've been trying to rediscover the love of running that I had before. I just haven't felt it lately. He wants to run, and I am not going to say no to that. I get to spend time with my favorite little guy, and I'm learning to love running again.

This Is Show Week

This weekend was killer. Thursday night I had someone drop out of my show. We have a week left, so the stress the last few days has been massive.

Friday I had a few hours of peace. I got up super early and hiked Jay with Tracy and Kelee. Sitting on a mountain at 6am is a moment of perfect peace.

I could have stayed forever.

But, back to reality. It was tech weekend. Three days of work and sleepless nights.

My existence right now.

This morning my cast was supposed to be featured on a morning TV program, but we were bumped for coverage of flooding. I was up and caffeinated at 3am with no where to go. I took a nap, but I am still feeling exhausted. This show is taking a lot out of me, and I feel like I've hit a wall. I don't have the energy to exercise and my willpower is almost non-existent. This is show week.

Still, I love what I do. The show is coming along really well, and my cast is fabulous. I found someone to take over the role that was abandoned, and she's going to be great. I'm really excited for tonight's rehearsal. We're putting it all together. Costumes, lights, pit band, etc. It's my favorite rehearsal.

Show week always takes a toll on me. I take a break from exercise. I don't eat very well. I don't sleep. I'm trying to do better than usual. I'm sticking to my running plan (except my long run on Sunday - 2 hours of sleep and a thunderstorm squashed that). I'm trying to eat well. I'd say it's been about 60/40. Sleep has been my biggest issue. That should get better now that everything is coming together.

I'll be back on track soon. 

Closer to Normal

Today I am breathing through the stress. And exercising.

I started the day with a beautiful walk with the Moon Dog. The weather is amazing today. Cool and sunny and perfect. Our walk was a moment of peace in this crazy week.

I'm giving my legs a rest today. After sprints on Tuesday and a 3.3 mile run yesterday, my hips were sore. A day off will do me good.

I did an upper body workout instead. It felt great. I love how strong lifting makes me feel.

I can't go to TKD today, which is a bummer. TKD makes me feel powerful. It gives me an hour where I don't have to think about anything else. I can focus completely and forget the stress of the rest of my life. I did some practice on my own this morning, but it's not the same. Oh well. I'll get back into it when things settle down a little.

Even with everything that's going on, I am feeling pretty good. I've been eating really well and focusing on staying positive. It makes a huge difference. I'm just trying to find balance. Right now, it's going pretty well. I'm feeling closer to normal than I have in a really long time.

Resisting the Urge to Compare

It's hard to be an artist. Putting your vision out to the world opens you up to a lot of criticism. I'm fine with criticism. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I don't like comparison. In theatre, no show is ever going to be just like another. A different director, a different style, a different cast, space, budget, etc. It all changes the outcome. Yet, many people feel the need to compare. Even two shows with entirely different scripts and scores will be compared. It drives me nuts. They are both theatrical productions. That's it. Just like the cliche apples and oranges are both fruit.

Occasionally, I find myself falling into the comparison trap. I catch myself worrying if I am as good as X or if my ideas are duller than Y's. It's not productive thinking. What I love about theatre (and any creative outlet) is the celebration of what makes something unique. Why would I want to produce something that's exactly like something else? That's not creativity.

I am still struggling to resist comparison. It's not beneficial, and I can't go into something as big as a show doubting myself. I like my shows. I like my style. I'm confident in my actors. Why would I let others bring me down? Still, I'm human. It happens.

It's the same with running. I tend to compare myself to other runners. It's disheartening, and I set myself up for failure. I'm trying to avoid comparison and negative thinking and just learn to love it again. Like I used to.

I had a couple of good talks with other runners yesterday. Both are much faster than me. They're more consistent. But, the thing that struck me was that they both love it. Even on the bad days. It's a moment of balance and peace in their lives. They don't spend the whole time wishing they were faster or not breathing so hard or could run the whole thing. They just enjoy it.

I envy that. I want that. I'm working on it.

More and more I think about how short life is. We have so little time that it seems stupid to waste it on comparison and negativity. I want to do what I love. I want to enjoy my life.

With that in mind, I dragged myself out of bed after only 4 hours of sleep and went running with some friends. Today was a scheduled rest day, but I wanted to run with them. So I did. I'll rest tomorrow. There were many times I could have compared myself to them and found fault, but I fought the urge. I focused on the good stuff. My friends, being awake before most people, the cool breeze and light rain, the feeling of getting up a hill. When I struggled I thought about the fact that I am alive and capable of running. I've got more than a lot of people.

Instead of comparing, I celebrated. Instead of feeling like a failure, I felt grateful. I'm improving. One day at a time.

Speedy and Healthy - Half Marathon Training Week 2

Yesterday was a bust. It was one of those days when nothing goes right. I managed a 40 minute upper body workout. Mostly dead lifts and push-ups. When I'm having a bad day, that's my go-to workout. Two of my favorite exercises and the most reward for a short workout. I felt a little better after working out, but I didn't push it. Just wasn't feeling it.

The day ended on a good note. We had a great rehearsal for the musical. We added the pit band, which is one of my favorites. It adds so much to the show. I'm getting really excited. It's going to be great.

I was determined that today would be better. I had a 3 mile easy run with 2 strides on my training schedule, but things didn't go according to plan. I slept through my first alarm. I heard the second one, but by that time I didn't have time to run. Too bad because the weather was cool and perfect. I had to get creative.

I took the kids to their school's soccer field and did speed work while they played. It was rough. The sun came out, and it was hot. I haven't done outdoor speed work in a long time. It was hard, but it also reminded me of how I used to feel. Sprinting on a field used to be one of my favorite things, and even though I was gasping for breath and my heart was hammering in my chest, it felt great to be out there again. I'd like to start going there once a week. The kids had fun playing, and I got in a great workout.

I didn't get in the mileage on my plan. It was about 1.10 miles altogether. Thursday was supposed to be speed work, so I'm just going to swap them. I'm not stressing about it. I already feel so much better after two runs and consistent exercise. Plus, I've been eating healthy foods and making sure I am drinking enough water. It makes such a difference.

I'm happy with how I'm doing, and I'm going to stay focused throughout the next two weeks. It's going to be stressful, but running and eating right will help me manage.

First Run of Half Training

Today I officially started my half marathon training program. I actually should have started on Tuesday, but I didn't figure out the weeks until the Leaf Peeper until yesterday. So, I missed the first two easy runs. No biggie. I've been doing a little running with my kids. I didn't have the mileage, but it's better than nothing.

Today called for 6 easy miles. Since I've taken so much time off I knew I should cut back and ease myself into it. I could have done 6, but I am also still working to fix an injury. I decided not to push it. I did walk/run intervals and went for 4.5 miles. It was a good choice. It was hot and humid, and my legs felt like lead by the time I had done 3 miles. 6 would have been too much of a jump.

Pre-run: Tired but motivated!

Next week I will stick to the plan. I've never actually used a set training plan before, so I am interested to see what happens over the next twelve weeks.

I also used today's run to break in my new sneakers. I am usually a Mizunos girl, but I decided to try a different brand this time. My physical therapist suggested a shoe with more cushion. While I love the super-light Mizunos, they do not have a lot of cushion.

I got a pair of Asics, and they seem pretty good. A little heavier, but a lot of cushion and a good fit. They also did not need breaking in. They felt great from the moment I stepped out the door.

When I get closer to the race, I will probably get another pair of Mizunos and alternate. I like light shoes for races, but for everyday mileage I think these Asics will be a good fit.

I'm excited to have a big goal again. I needed something. I've definitely been floundering for a while. Running definitely makes me feel good, and a big goal will keep me motivated.

Speaking of motivating, my friend Michelle is racing her first 70.3 today. She has been such an inspiration, and I cannot wait to hear all about her race. She's worked incredibly hard for a very long time. I know she's going to crush it!!

Kind of makes me want to try a tri....but the swimming part makes me nervous. I can swim forever, but my form is crappy. I also don't know how to breathe and tend to feel like I'm drowning when I try. We'll see. Maybe next year I'll feel differently. For now running is enough. Leaf Peeper in October, and Michelle and I are splitting the Burlington Marathon next May (assuming we get in). That's enough to keep me motivated and excited for now.

Absolutely Awesome

Today was a gorgeous day. Absolutely perfect. Even with car trouble, I knew we had to go out and carpe diem. The Artist has been asking to hike Jay Peak, and today was the perfect day for a hike.

We had some troubles and scrapes, but it was a great hike. The kids had a great time.

Before the hike, they insisted that we do our run. Happy mom moment! We did our quarter mile and the celebratory cheer. It's become part of the run. We put our hands in and say 1, 2, 3, great run! Love, love, love them.

Our hike was so much fun. We took our time, took breaks, and admired mushrooms, leaves, butterflies, and flowers. I can't think of a better way to spend the day.

 So pretty.

Bliss.