Setting Up For Success

Yesterday was sort of a rest day. I did a lot of moving around, but no workouts. I had an awesome girls' night with the Bean, one of her besties, and one of mine. We went out for sushi and watched a local, high school performance of Footloose. It was a blast.

I knew I would be having sushi for dinner, so I planned the rest of my food accordingly and stayed on track. My goal was to get through the weekend on track, and I have succeeded. I know today is not quite over, but I am confident I will make it.

I set myself up for success this morning and did 12 miles (and a ton of hills) with my friend, Michelle. I love our Sunday runs. It starts the week off right, and we get a chance to talk. It's exercise and therapy.

My legs were pretty sore after, but I wasn't done. I had a choreography rehearsal today and spent two hours dancing with my cast. They were phenomenal, and we put together a fairly complicated dance in two hours - with kids starting as young as four that's pretty impressive. I love what I do.

My legs are pretty much done now. Resting, family games, and writing are the plan for tonight. My eating is on track, and I feel really great. I had to change my mindset and get back to how I used to look at life. Positivity makes everything better. It's so nice to feel this way again.

I'm hoping my legs won't be too sore tomorrow. I've got TKD. Some yoga earlier in the day is going to be necessary. I'm looking forward to it.

Life is so very, very good.

This Is Show Week

This weekend was killer. Thursday night I had someone drop out of my show. We have a week left, so the stress the last few days has been massive.

Friday I had a few hours of peace. I got up super early and hiked Jay with Tracy and Kelee. Sitting on a mountain at 6am is a moment of perfect peace.

I could have stayed forever.

But, back to reality. It was tech weekend. Three days of work and sleepless nights.

My existence right now.

This morning my cast was supposed to be featured on a morning TV program, but we were bumped for coverage of flooding. I was up and caffeinated at 3am with no where to go. I took a nap, but I am still feeling exhausted. This show is taking a lot out of me, and I feel like I've hit a wall. I don't have the energy to exercise and my willpower is almost non-existent. This is show week.

Still, I love what I do. The show is coming along really well, and my cast is fabulous. I found someone to take over the role that was abandoned, and she's going to be great. I'm really excited for tonight's rehearsal. We're putting it all together. Costumes, lights, pit band, etc. It's my favorite rehearsal.

Show week always takes a toll on me. I take a break from exercise. I don't eat very well. I don't sleep. I'm trying to do better than usual. I'm sticking to my running plan (except my long run on Sunday - 2 hours of sleep and a thunderstorm squashed that). I'm trying to eat well. I'd say it's been about 60/40. Sleep has been my biggest issue. That should get better now that everything is coming together.

I'll be back on track soon. 

Resisting the Urge to Compare

It's hard to be an artist. Putting your vision out to the world opens you up to a lot of criticism. I'm fine with criticism. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I don't like comparison. In theatre, no show is ever going to be just like another. A different director, a different style, a different cast, space, budget, etc. It all changes the outcome. Yet, many people feel the need to compare. Even two shows with entirely different scripts and scores will be compared. It drives me nuts. They are both theatrical productions. That's it. Just like the cliche apples and oranges are both fruit.

Occasionally, I find myself falling into the comparison trap. I catch myself worrying if I am as good as X or if my ideas are duller than Y's. It's not productive thinking. What I love about theatre (and any creative outlet) is the celebration of what makes something unique. Why would I want to produce something that's exactly like something else? That's not creativity.

I am still struggling to resist comparison. It's not beneficial, and I can't go into something as big as a show doubting myself. I like my shows. I like my style. I'm confident in my actors. Why would I let others bring me down? Still, I'm human. It happens.

It's the same with running. I tend to compare myself to other runners. It's disheartening, and I set myself up for failure. I'm trying to avoid comparison and negative thinking and just learn to love it again. Like I used to.

I had a couple of good talks with other runners yesterday. Both are much faster than me. They're more consistent. But, the thing that struck me was that they both love it. Even on the bad days. It's a moment of balance and peace in their lives. They don't spend the whole time wishing they were faster or not breathing so hard or could run the whole thing. They just enjoy it.

I envy that. I want that. I'm working on it.

More and more I think about how short life is. We have so little time that it seems stupid to waste it on comparison and negativity. I want to do what I love. I want to enjoy my life.

With that in mind, I dragged myself out of bed after only 4 hours of sleep and went running with some friends. Today was a scheduled rest day, but I wanted to run with them. So I did. I'll rest tomorrow. There were many times I could have compared myself to them and found fault, but I fought the urge. I focused on the good stuff. My friends, being awake before most people, the cool breeze and light rain, the feeling of getting up a hill. When I struggled I thought about the fact that I am alive and capable of running. I've got more than a lot of people.

Instead of comparing, I celebrated. Instead of feeling like a failure, I felt grateful. I'm improving. One day at a time.