I Quit

Confession: I'm a quitter. Surprisingly, I'm okay with this. I almost never quit. I've spent my whole life meeting goals. I hate giving up.

I'm trying to do things differently. I've been feeling stressed and buried under commitments. I decided to cut back on responsibilities. I want to enjoy my life and focus on just a few projects. I need less stress.

For the last week or so, I have been feeling pretty stressed about the half. I've lost my mojo. My long runs haven't gone well. I keep trying to not care about how slow I am, but it's nagging at me. I've been dreading the run. I just don't feel ready for it, and I'm not having fun.

The whole point of signing up was to start running again. I wanted to find a way to enjoy it again. I was there for a while. I wanted to run. I looked forward to it. I loved it again. Then I got closer to race time, and I started to worry. I ran less. I wasn't as excited to run.

I want to enjoy it. Running is so great. It makes me feel good and helps me stay positive. I don't want to lose the enjoyment of it. I want it to be fun.

You know what sounds fun? Dropping down to the 5k and running it with the Artist. It will be his first race, and he is so excited. This is why I am okay with being a quitter. This is the right choice. I'm not in a competitive head space. I'm not looking for anything serious. Some fun mother/son time is absolutely perfect.

I'm still planning on some races in 2016. I'm sure I'll get back to a place where I feel ready to run distance again, but right now I just need to enjoy it. I love that the Artist has become my new running buddy. He's a great motivator. I'm so excited for Sunday now.

For now my fitness goals are going to be based in consistency. I want to lift 3x/week and run 2-3x/week (whatever distance I choose). I also want to work more on Taekwondo. Tournament season is coming, and I want to do my best.

I have to accept that I am not where I used to be, and it is going to take time to get back there. I can't expect it to all change at once. Slow and steady all fall and winter is my goal. Build a base. It will make training easier in the spring/summer. It's time for hiking and (soon) snowshoeing. Two of my favorite workouts that pair perfectly with my slow and steady goal.

Of course now that I am motivated again, I am sick. I've been a mess for a couple days. I'm hoping to feel good enough to do a strength workout tomorrow. It will be fairly light/easy. I'm not rushing into anything. One day at a time. Slow and steady.

Annual Birthday Hike

Confession time. I missed my last long run. My half is in a week and a half, and I'm feeling pretty confident. Not that I will be fast. It's going to be a long run. I'm hoping there isn't a cutoff time, but I'm okay, no matter how long it takes. I took a long time off from running. I am not in the same shape I was, and if I can complete the half I will be happy.

I missed my run on Sunday. I slept through all of my alarms. I don't remember them going off, but I must have turned them off. I tried running later in the day, but it just didn't happen. I walked 4 miles. I ran a little, but it was a struggle.

Monday I had TKD. It was a great class. We learned a fun, new punch. It took me a long time to figure it out. My pattern is getting better. I'm definitely struggling with parts of it, but it's slowly getting better. I don't think I've ever worked so hard to perfect something. I've had to really focus on the tiny details. It was a great class, and my muscles were sore this morning.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, and that means hiking. Every year she goes for hike. Last year we hiked Laraway. This year she wanted to do Jay Peak. I love Jay. It was a great day for a hike. We had a lot of fun and lots of good girl talk.

I followed our hike with yoga and a run with the kids. I'm definitely sore this morning.

Still, I got up early this morning and went for a run with Tracy. It ended up being a lot of walking. I stepped on some loose rocks and twisted my knee. It was not feeling good this morning, so I took it easy. Something is better than nothing.

I'm feeling completely wiped out. Just exhausted. The Artist is home today, too. Not feeling well, tired. Looks like we're staying home and napping today. He's already asleep.

I'm trying to stay positive about the race. The usual doubts are creeping in. Trying to focus on finishing and having fun. Time doesn't matter. Finish. Have fun. That's my mantra for this one. It's so nice to be back to running and actually enjoying it. That's the most important thing.

Making It Better

It's been a while since I posted anything. Life has been hectic, and if I'm honest, I've been struggling to keep everything straight. Exercise has been helping a lot. Monday was TKD. It was a good class, and I worked hard. Always enjoy that class. Tuesday, I taught yoga for the first time in months. It was great. It felt so good to stretch and relax.

Yesterday, I got up early and lifted. I have also not been lifting lately, and it was great to start that again. I'm feeling it this morning. My legs are sore. This morning I slept through my alarm. I was planning on running this afternoon, but I had a really annoying morning and decided I needed a run.

Five miles later I felt a lot better. I had planned on just doing a couple miles, but once I got going, I wanted to keep going. Feeling good now.

New Things

Today was all about new things.

I had a 12 mile run to do, which is a distance I have not done in two years. It felt new. I also was trying several new products. Probably not the greatest idea to do them all at once and add it to a long run, but I've only got a few weeks left. Luckily, it went well.

New Mizunos!

The Asics have been fine, but they feel heavy and clumpy. I like to run races in Mizunos. I found a pair for super cheap, and they are beautiful. Most shoes need to be broken-in, but I've never needed to do that with Mizunos. They are ready to go. I did a 2 miler on Saturday morning, and they felt great. I knew I'd be okay for 12. They were comfortable the whole time. Love these shoes!!!

New Hydration Backpack!

I've been wanting one of these for a while. I'm excited to use it for hiking and bike rides, too. I wasn't sure how I would feel about running with a pack, but it was hardly noticeable, and being hydrated for the whole run was incredible. I struggle with swollen hands and dry mouth during most long runs, and this time it wasn't an issue. Loved it.

Ucan?

I was not sure how I would like this new kind of liquid nutrition. I used to use Gu, but it made me ill after a while. I can't eat them now. Michelle let me try some of the stuff she uses for triathalon training. It's made of all good stuff and offered consistent energy throughout my run. This was very impressive to me. The tough stuff didn't hit me until the last mile. I felt really good for most of the run, and when I started to struggle I still managed to finish with run/walk intervals. I've never felt that strong on a long run. The taste was mild and not disgusting. Not my favorite. It had a strange texture, but again, not unpleasant. It worked really well, and I'll definitely be using it for the half.

It was a good run. Did I walk? Sometimes, but they were shorter stretches. I really tried to focus on keeping my walks short this time. Was I fast? No. Definitely not. But, I felt good. I didn't push the pace. I did what I felt like doing but tried to push myself. I was hurting by the end, but I feel great about it. It went well, and I have a 12-miler under my belt. It's been a while since I've done that.

I'm still doing well with my eating. I've stayed on-track all weekend. This is huge for me. I tend to eat/drink whatever I want when I travel or at special occasions. This time I was determined to stick to the plan and made sure I brought plenty of healthy snacks. It worked.

Grumpy

I'm having a grumpy day.

It happens, and usually I can do something to make it go away. Today it took a lot longer than usual. One big help was going for a run. The only good thing about running angry is that it improves my pace. I ran my second fastest pace in a long, long time today.

This whole week has been challenging. TKD switched back to Mondays, and my legs were super sore from running and hiking on Sunday. Class was tough, and things did not go overly well. I definitely know what I need to work on.

Tuesday morning was great. I expected to be sore, but I actually felt pretty good. I did a short run (2 miles) because I was short on time, but it was the fastest I've run in a long time. No earbuds seems to be the best way for me to train. Then evening came, and I started not feeling very well. I ended up being sick for two days.

Thursday I started to feel better as the day went on, so I did a short upper body workout. It wasn't much, but it took a lot out of me. Today I'm feeling better (except for the irritated/grumpy morning). I took the Moon Dog for a walk and went for a run. Tomorrow I am hoping to get in an early morning run before we go to a wedding. This weekend is packed, and I won't have a chance to run. I'm moving my long run to Monday.


I've also taken control of my diet. I've been feeling really sluggish and terrible lately, and I knew something needed to change. My friend asked me to do Wholefoods 30 with her, and I decided to give it a shot. It's been okay so far. It's fairly restricted, but I already see and feel a difference. I'm really interested to see what happens after 30 days.

The hardest part, surprisingly, has been not weighing myself every day. The idea is to weigh in at the beginning and the end, and I'm really trying to stick to it. I didn't realize how much of a habit weighing myself had become.

This weekend is going to be a challenge, and I am trying to prepare as best I can. We're going to a wedding and going camping. I know I can stick to it, but it will take some planning. I'll let you know how it goes...