I Quit

Confession: I'm a quitter. Surprisingly, I'm okay with this. I almost never quit. I've spent my whole life meeting goals. I hate giving up.

I'm trying to do things differently. I've been feeling stressed and buried under commitments. I decided to cut back on responsibilities. I want to enjoy my life and focus on just a few projects. I need less stress.

For the last week or so, I have been feeling pretty stressed about the half. I've lost my mojo. My long runs haven't gone well. I keep trying to not care about how slow I am, but it's nagging at me. I've been dreading the run. I just don't feel ready for it, and I'm not having fun.

The whole point of signing up was to start running again. I wanted to find a way to enjoy it again. I was there for a while. I wanted to run. I looked forward to it. I loved it again. Then I got closer to race time, and I started to worry. I ran less. I wasn't as excited to run.

I want to enjoy it. Running is so great. It makes me feel good and helps me stay positive. I don't want to lose the enjoyment of it. I want it to be fun.

You know what sounds fun? Dropping down to the 5k and running it with the Artist. It will be his first race, and he is so excited. This is why I am okay with being a quitter. This is the right choice. I'm not in a competitive head space. I'm not looking for anything serious. Some fun mother/son time is absolutely perfect.

I'm still planning on some races in 2016. I'm sure I'll get back to a place where I feel ready to run distance again, but right now I just need to enjoy it. I love that the Artist has become my new running buddy. He's a great motivator. I'm so excited for Sunday now.

For now my fitness goals are going to be based in consistency. I want to lift 3x/week and run 2-3x/week (whatever distance I choose). I also want to work more on Taekwondo. Tournament season is coming, and I want to do my best.

I have to accept that I am not where I used to be, and it is going to take time to get back there. I can't expect it to all change at once. Slow and steady all fall and winter is my goal. Build a base. It will make training easier in the spring/summer. It's time for hiking and (soon) snowshoeing. Two of my favorite workouts that pair perfectly with my slow and steady goal.

Of course now that I am motivated again, I am sick. I've been a mess for a couple days. I'm hoping to feel good enough to do a strength workout tomorrow. It will be fairly light/easy. I'm not rushing into anything. One day at a time. Slow and steady.