Father's Day Hike

Yesterday my whole family went on an awesome hike up Burnt Mountain. We said our last goodbyes to Dad on his favorite mountain, rocked out to some of his favorite songs, and toasted him with his favorite beer. He would have loved it.

My dad taught me a lot of things. Too many to list. He was the one who first introduced me to weight lifting. He taught me to appreciate being alone in the wilderness. We shared some really great hikes together. He is at the root of a lot of my favorite things. I miss him so much. I'm really glad we could celebrate him in such a perfect way. It was a beautiful day and a wonderful time with family.

I love these people so much.

Photos by Dori Baker & Dave Boucher

Rough Start, Good Finish

It's been a rough few days. Some days are just harder than others. When Andy suggested a run yesterday, I really didn't want to go. I was tired. I was emotional. I was feeling lazy. But, remembering my manta "Because I Can", I went. It was a perfect evening for a run, and I didn't have any good reasons to skip it.

The beginning was rough. My shins and calves burned. I thought of a million reasons to stop. I did stop for a little while. I allowed myself to walk to the paved section. Then I ran the rest. I was using the couch to 5k app and ran a little extra at the end to make up for walking. I ran for 25 minutes without stopping. Slow, but I did it. Once I got past my negative thinking the run went pretty well, and I felt good when it was over. I need to run more consistently. It makes me happy.

Source

On Saturday the whole family is participating in a 5k fun run/walk/bike. The girl and I are running together, and we've made a plan. We're going to do intervals for the whole thing. I'm excited. It should be a lot of fun, and I'm glad I get to share it with my girl. We 're going to be sporting some very bright ReRunning Podcast shirts.

I love them!

The whole family will be podcasting about our first family race, and it will be available at the ReRunning Podcast Relaunch - June 21st!

Still Broken, But Getting Better

On March 31st, my dad passed away after a 5 year battle with cancer. I haven't been able to think, let alone find words to express the grief I feel. I'm not sure that there are words to describe it, and if there are, it will take a better writer than me to express it. It's having a giant hole inside of you. It's walking around and looking fine and everything is normal, but nothing is actually normal and you are so far from fine. It's feeling like the world has been turned upside down, shaken, and broken, yet your day-to-day is the same.

It's taken me a month to even get back to all of my usual activities. It took a week for me to leave my house. Every little thing was a monumental effort. Even just picking up my kids from school was too much. Every person I saw was incredibly kind, but I could not talk about it without crying. I still haven't had a day without crying, but I've got it a little more under control now.

 I am so grateful for the people in my life. This whole thing has made me value my relationships a lot more, and unfortunately, it has also shown me a few that I need to let go. But, I am staying focused on the love that people are giving me. It's been absolutely overwhelming.

The last thing I added back into my life was TKD class. My TKD family has been incredibly supportive and understanding, but it took me a while to go back. First because class is in the evenings, and I was so exhausted just from trying to exist that I couldn't get myself to go. Second, because even though I am much more confident in my abilities now, it is still a place where I have to step out of my comfort zone often. I just wasn't ready.

It was so good to go back. It is one of my favorite things. I didn't have to talk about my problems or think about them. I could focus solely on class, and I had the support of all the wonderful people there. I was also pleased to find that missing almost two months of class had not affected me too badly, and I still remembered my pattern. I just felt happy after class. I think it was the first time I've really felt good since all of this began.

For now, I am taking things slow. I am being patient with myself and accepting that I am not always going to be up for training (or some days even leaving the house). I'm doing what I can and knowing that it is enough. My health has become a top priority. I'm a master at making excuses, but that's not happening anymore.

 My dad was always the strongest and bravest man I knew. He taught me how to lift when I was young and would accompany him to the fire station. (He was a firefighter and EMT - see, the BRAVEST man I've known.) It is when my love of lifting truly began. Even after his diagnosis, he walked almost daily, and I am not talking about a mile or so. He walked up to 8 miles. No music, no headphones. He watched the nature around him. He hiked almost until the end. We had some really amazing hikes last fall, and I am so grateful for those memories.

So, that is where I am at today. Still broken, but getting better. Figuring out how to live with this and doing my best to make healthy choices and just feeling grateful for all the good in my life.

Rainy Walk

It's been a good week. I jammed my ankle (same one that I hurt in the tournament) during class on Monday, and it's been sore all week. I tried to let it rest and stuck to upper body workouts and short walks.

Yesterday, I decided to do some hip strengtheners. They didn't feel like much at the time, but I'm feeling it today. I went for a walk with the Artist this morning to loosen up my muscles. It was lightly raining when we started, and it started raining harder as we went.

We had a great time.

And, got in some stretches.

He's one of my favorite exercise partners. We always have such a great time.

Back At It

Back on track after a week off.

We had a wonderful vacation in Maine. It was only a few days, but it was perfect. We has lots of great ocean time, played mini golf, ate delicious ice cream, and finished it up with a trip to Fun Town/ Splash Town. So much fun.

I could seriously live in the ocean.

Yesterday, it was back to our usual hectic life. The kids' had promotions for TKD. They've worked really hard all summer, and it's really paid off. The looks on their faces made me cry like a baby. They were so proud of themselves. I love seeing that.

I also had TKD yesterday. It was a good class. I learned a few new things that I can hopefully use in sparring at the tournaments this spring. There were lots of back kicks, which are my favorite. I know it's good to work on things I'm not good at, but it's also nice to once in a while feel competent. I like feeling strong and coordinated. I was also incredibly inspired by watching my kids. They make me want to try harder and do more.

I woke up sore. Today's been another whirlwind of a day, and I haven't had a chance to work out. As soon as I finish this post, I'm going to do some lifting. I've got to keep up the momentum. I always feel better when I lift.

An Active Weekend / Tournament Recap / I Cry A Lot

This weekend was fabulous. It was filled with fun, family, and fitness! :)

Friday night my husband hosted his high school Rock Show. He started it years ago, and every year it gets better. This year's show was great. The Bean got to participate with her band, and they were amazing. I love that she's already in a band. It was really cool to see these kids hold their own with a bunch of high school performers and an audience of almost 400 people. Of course, I cried because I am apparently incapable of not crying when my kids are doing something. So proud of her.

Saturday was the TKD tournament. I have to admit, I did not feel great about how much practice I had done. It was a busy week, and I couldn't fit in as much as I wanted. I was nervous, but I set myself some simple goals, which I mentioned before. How did I do?

1. Stay calm/don't let nerves take over.
I did not achieve this one. I thought I was doing okay, but when I did my pattern everything went bad. I was super nervous and messed up a lot of things. Goal for next time - don't mess up my pattern.

2. Remember anything my "plan" for sparring.
So, usually sparring is my worst event. My brain goes blank, and I forget everything anyone has ever taught me. This time, I think it was my best. It was the only thing I got a medal for. I remembered to do combos. I looked for openings. I moved around a little. I still need to work on blocking, but I did okay. We tied, and I lost during the tie-breaker. I felt good about it, and I definitely felt like I had improved. I'd say I met this goal, but it will definitely be on the list of goals for the next one. I want to get better.

3. Break the board on the FIRST try.
This was the big one for me. I've been working on my 360 back kick for a while, and it's been frustrating. It took my 4 tries at the last tournament, and it took 4 tries when I tested for my high yellow belt. I did not want it to take 4 tries again. I practiced with one of the black belts from our school, and she made a suggestion that changed everything. It made the move easier and more accurate. I went into it feeling a lot more confident.
I got it on the first try!
If there is anything better than putting your foot through a board, it is the relief after it's done. I was pumped the minute my foot went through.
I'm looking forward to trying something new for the next tournament. I want to break something with my hand.

I love going to the tournaments. I've gotten to know some of the other competitors, and we have made friends with other TKD families. It's fun to see them and compete with them. Everyone is really positive and supportive.  It's a lot of fun.

My kiddos had a great time. The Bean got to compete in weapons for the first time. She did great even though she was nervous, and I was so proud of her. (Yes, I cried.) I love watching the weapons patterns. Can't wait until I can try it.

The Artist had the best day out of all of us, and I was so happy for him. He's grown quite a bit since the last tournament, and he's gotten more coordinated. He's also been working really hard on having a positive attitude. At the last tournament, he didn't do as well as he wanted, and he stayed angry the whole day. This time he told me he would be happy even if he didn't get any medals, and he was excited to go and have fun.

He was amazing. He got a silver in his pattern and did it better than I've ever seen him do it. He only took three tries to break his board (last time it was 7), and he stayed positive when he came in fourth. His sparring was incredible. He remembered everything we'd practiced, and he did it all. He went up three times, and the last match was really exciting to watch. They went back and forth on points, and it was tough. He ended up getting gold for sparring. It was so great to see him so excited and focused and proud of himself. (I also cried during his sparring. It's was a proud, tearful day.)

Signing my kids (and myself) up for TKD is one of the best decisions I have made. I love what it has done for their self-esteem. Amazing.


This is turning into a long post, so I will keep the rambling to a minimum from now on.

Sunday was an active day. The weather was absolutely perfect. It was the kind of day when you feel obligated to spend as much time as possible outside.

I started with a 6 mile run before the sun came up. It was Daylight Savings, so it was very dark at 5:30am. The stars were out, and it was beautiful. The sunrise was amazing.

It was a good run. I've been struggling with the first three miles of all my runs. This started when I was training for the marathon years ago, and it's never gone away. It's frustrating, but I know if I can get through it, the rest will be fine. After three miles, I get into a rhythm and just go. That's how this run went. I struggled, walked, and over-heated until about halfway through, and then I felt great for the second half. This will be good as my mileage increases.

My legs were pretty sore after that, but I took the Moon Dog for a walk and also went for a bike ride with the Bean. I was completely exhausted by the end of the day, and it was the best feeling. I miss that feeling.

Today, I am doing a short run on the treadmill because the wind is really strong, and wind is my nemesis. I would rather run in anything else - snow, pouring rain, heat, anything. Since I am hitting the treadmill, I am going to mix up speeds and inclines to keep things interesting. I also have TKD tonight, so it's going to be another active day. I'm looking forward to continuing this all week.

Traveling Is Good For My Soul

I love to travel. So does my husband. We used to take yearly trips to Florida, and our honeymoon was driving across the country. Life has been busy, and it's been a while since we went anywhere. The kids have reached the perfect age for travel. They're interested in the world and capable of packing/carrying their own stuff. It was definitely time for a trip.

We spent a few days at the Hollywood Beach in Florida. It was amazing. The weather was perfect. We saw gators, ate gator, played in the ocean and the pool, and we went snorkeling in Key Largo. It was such a fun family adventure. 

Now, we're back to reality, and I am glad. I love traveling, but I love coming home even more. Most of the time, I prefer routine. Travel is exciting and stimulating. Home is comfort and relaxation. 

I needed this trip. I needed a chance to re-set. I've been floundering for a while, but things are looking up. My birthday was on Saturday. I spent most of the day either waiting in an airport or sitting on a plane. It gave me a lot of time to think. I want to be healthier. What I have been doing lately is not making me feel my best. I want to feel better. 

I don't really care about how much I weigh. This was a shock. I've been obsessed with my scale for most of my life. I let it rule my life and dictate my mood. I hated that it had that kind of power over me, but I didn't do anything to change it.

I want to simplify my life. I want to enjoy it. Thinking about simplifying and about being positive brought me to the realization that it's not the number that matters. If I eat healthy, exercise, and sleep my body will do what it needs to do. It will get stronger, and I will feel better. That's what I want. 

I'm setting long term goals. Life goals, really. I want to simplify my life, make healthy choices, and relax/meditate. These are goals I can work on my whole life. I have ideas for how to get started, and I know each will build upon the next. I just need to begin.

Vacation was wonderful. So much family time. So much fun. Coming home is wonderful. I am relaxed, re-set, and ready to take on the coming year.

Epically Good Day

This day has been epically good.

I took this guy to Waterbury this morning for the Leaf Peeper Half Marathon/5k.

He was excited about everything. His shirt, the Bove's spaghetti sauce, his number, the 33 porta potties... It was a fun day. We ran most of the 5k, and he had a great positive, attitude the whole time. People cheered for him, and when he crossed the finish line they announced he was the youngest finisher. He liked that.

My favorite part was near the end. Just before we got to the finish line, he told me he wanted to fly over the finish line. I said, "Go for it.", and he took off. Beat me by a good 6 seconds. He asked if we could do it again next year, and I definitely agreed we should. Love my running buddy. We had such a great time.

This whole weekend has been great. Yesterday I got up early and hiked with a bunch of awesome ladies. We hiked my favorite mountain. It was cold. We saw snow near the top and a gigantic porcupine. It was an awesome morning.

Awesome weekend.

Perfection.

Yesterday was perfection.

Our summer was more work than play, and we really needed a good family day. We surprisingly had an empty schedule yesterday, and we decided it was a family fun day.

I had a run planned, so I went out before anyone else was awake and did 7.5 miles. It wasn't as long as I should have gone, but I knew I couldn't be completely spent for our family day. I also had a few technical difficulties while running that reminded me that I need to buy some more Glide. Ouch.

Once everyone was awake and showered, we went out for breakfast at the Dairy Center. Good food. Good prices. Great staff. It was a perfect start to our adventures. We needed the fuel.

Next we packed up and went to Mt. Pisgah. It is a beautiful hike, and we stopped a lot to climb big rocks and play in the streams and little waterfalls. The end of the hike is super steep, and we all struggled with it. But, no one complained. We tried to keep it fun. The view was total worth it. We had a picnic and stared at Lake Willoughby. It's one of the most beautiful places in Vermont.

After we got back to our car it was time for the next phase of our trip - swimming. But, I surprised the kids by stopping for ice cream at a nearby store. We sat outside and looked at the lake while we ate. Then we finally went and got in the water that we'd been staring at all day.

It was such a great day and very much needed. Everyone was in good spirits, and we just enjoyed being together. The kids were completely exhausted and went to sleep without a complaint. Perfect.

Everyone was sore this morning. My legs are really, really sore. And, I have TKD tonight. Should be an interesting class. But, no matter how difficult it is tonight, it was totally worth it. And as the Artist said this morning, "even if it's hard it will make you 100 times better."

Happy hikers

An Epic Journey

This has been a great fitness week for me and my kids. Tuesday the kids had TKD promotions. I love watching them meet their goals. They worked hard all summer, and they were both so excited about their new belts. I love seeing how proud they are of themselves. There are so many benefits to TKD. It's so much more than just a new belt. It builds their confidence, gives them pride, and teaches them perseverance.

I had a good TKD class this week as well. It was not an easy class. It was hot. I worked my butt off and felt confused and like I was messing everything up. But, by the end of class, I was starting to understand. I could see a little progress. We ended with sparring, which last year made me nervous because everyone was watching. This time I found myself focused on what I was trying to achieve. I didn't do very well, but I wasn't worried about what anyone was thinking. To me, that is huge progress. TKD has given me so much more confidence. It's incredible.

It was a good running week, too. I ran Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. It was great. I was motivated and felt great after. Wednesday, I was feeling sore and tired. I was running with a couple other ladies who didn't mind walking, so we ran a mile and walked two more. Thursday, I didn't run. TKD was enough, and I needed a day off.

Friday ended up being a day off, too. My hip was tight and sore following TKD, and I was feeling really tired. I slept in and felt a lot better after getting some extra Zs. We went to Crystal Lake in the late afternoon, and I swam some laps. I worked a little at breathing during the crawl. It's still difficult. I need a lot more work on swimming. Still, I love swimming, and it felt great on my tired legs.

Today has been the best day of the week. The Artist wanted to run. He asked if we could have an epic journey and run/walk into Enosburg from our house (what I thought was 5 miles). I want to encourage his love of running, so I agreed. I got to have a great workout with my favorite little guy.

We had a blast. It was a perfect morning. Warm, but not too hot. Sunshine. Blue skies. Perfection. We walked to the Rail Trail and started running. We ran a lot in the first half. He was excited and kept saying, "I can't believe we're doing this! I know we can do it!" He had such a great attitude. I let him dictate the pace and distance of our runs. We're working on pacing, and he does pretty well. But, sometimes you have to go all out and race your mom. I definitely did some sprinting.

Our longest run/walk before this morning was 2 miles. I didn't want to push it and have him hate it, so I gave him an out. At the halfway point, I offered to have Andy come pick us up. He enthusiastically denied the offer. He was going to do the whole thing - no matter what. This attitude thrills me.

We walked a lot more in the second half, but we still did some run intervals right up to the end. He was definitely getting tired. Our pace was slower, but the conversation wasn't. We had such a great talk, and I am looking forward to more of these moments. We discussed the idea of being proud of finishing and not needing to come in first. He tends to get really discouraged when he doesn't win, and I wanted him to understand that running is just about trying your best.

He definitely got it. The moment he saw that we had reached town he said, "We did it!" He walked taller, and the expression on his face was priceless. We high-fived and bragged to our friends at The Flying Disc. We celebrated with smoothies, and Andy picked us up. We ended up doing over 6 miles. It was an epic journey and so completely worth it.

Absolutely Awesome

Today was a gorgeous day. Absolutely perfect. Even with car trouble, I knew we had to go out and carpe diem. The Artist has been asking to hike Jay Peak, and today was the perfect day for a hike.

We had some troubles and scrapes, but it was a great hike. The kids had a great time.

Before the hike, they insisted that we do our run. Happy mom moment! We did our quarter mile and the celebratory cheer. It's become part of the run. We put our hands in and say 1, 2, 3, great run! Love, love, love them.

Our hike was so much fun. We took our time, took breaks, and admired mushrooms, leaves, butterflies, and flowers. I can't think of a better way to spend the day.

 So pretty.

Bliss.

Just Breathe

Today has been challenging...and it's 9:30 in the morning.

Both of my cars have decided to develop some major issues, which is just adding to the stress of this week. I'm trying to stay calm and breathe. Hoping things get better from here. At least I have TKD tonight. I'm looking forward to a good workout.

I also get some girl-time tonight with my friends. I need it.

The kids and I went for another run today. It was great. They decided to go the other direction and run up hill. They wanted a challenge. Happy mom moment. I'm always trying to get them to challenge themselves. The hill was hard, but they loved the downhill run back.

Kid Inspiration and A Definite Goal

Today I came downstairs to find the Artist working out. He was using my interval timer and doing different exercises. It made my heart happy. I don't force my kids to exercise, but I do encourage it. I've been talking with them about wanting to start exercising and eating better. I guess they listened.

At this point, I want my kids to enjoy exercise. I let them workout for as long as they want without pushing for them to do more. They usually start out small and then start coming up with more things to do. Today the Artist grabbed the TKD pad and asked me to hold it while he practiced. He did a lot, and the Bean was inspired to join in.

He inspired me too. I did an interval workout using TKD moves and isometrics. It was a good workout. When I was finished, the kids asked to run, so we ran to the end of our road and back. The kids did pretty well with pacing and ran the whole time. Bean had been planning on walking some of it, and she was proud that she made it the whole way.

Today I put my running goal into motion. I looked up the half I was considering for the fall, and registration was open. I signed up for the Leaf Peeper again. It's a great race, a pretty course, and I love the long-sleeved shirts! (Yes, it is all about the shirt.)

The half is my favorite distance. It's not a crazy long distance, but it requires training. I need this kind of motivation right now, and fall runs are the best! Runner's World put out a new half training plan, and it doesn't look too taxing. I want something I can follow that will ease me back into it. I like that I don't have to think about it and can just do what's on the paper. I've never followed a strict training plan before. I'm interested to see how it works.