Epic

This morning was a pretty successful morning. I got up early. I got myself out the door, and I went for a 3.15 mile run. It was a gorgeous morning. It was foggy, but the sun was starting to break through. It was a little humid, but not terrible. My legs felt good, and I was ready for a good workout.

I took minimal walking breaks and really pushed myself to keep going. I focused on enjoying the run, and it made it a lot easier. I tried to keep my body loose. I didn't let my thoughts go negative. It was a definite accomplishment. I've been relying heavily on others to keep me running, but that doesn't work very well. If I'm going to be able to run a half marathon in October, I need to start relying on myself. I love running with other people, but I also need to stick to my training plan. Plus, I'd almost forgotten how wonderful a solo run can be. I almost never have quiet time by myself. It was refreshing to be alone with my thoughts.

I felt great after my run. I had plenty of time left to walk Moon Dog before anyone else was awake. He was super excited, and it was a gorgeous morning for a walk.

My legs are definitely tired now. Luckily, the Artist and I are going to the lake. A day of swimming is just what I need. I'm relaxing today. Its going to be great, or a my favorite little guy likes to say, "this day is going to be epic."

What's Next?

I am currently in a horrible state of transition. The musical was a great experience, but it was exhausting. I ate terribly. I didn't exercise. I skipped my training plan runs. I barely slept. The stress was high. Now, I'm done with it, and I have a Monday night free. What do I do with myself? I'm a goal-oriented person. I always need to be working toward something.

New goals. I've got my exercise goal. The half is exactly what I need to get back on track. Now I need a creative/writing goal. My super-talented friend and I have been talking about writing a musical together. I think now is the perfect time.

Tonight I just enjoyed having a night off. I made a healthy dinner with veggies that the Artist and I picked up at the farm stand. The Bean is at camp all day, so we get to hang out. The farm stand was today's adventure. He had a good time picking out veggies and promised to try corn on the cob even though he doesn't like corn. It makes a big difference when he is involved in the planning/execution of a meal. He's much more open-minded.

We also went for a run. He's been showing interest in running, and I am thrilled. He is an awesome running buddy. We don't run very far, but we run fast and take walking breaks. We ran over half a mile today, and it was the most fun I have ever had running. We ran uphill first, and he did great on the hills. Then on the way down, he took off, and I watched his joy as he sprinted down the hill. I realized I was holding back and going slow, and I decided to run more like the Artist. I ran faster, swung my arms, and just enjoyed it.

This is what I need. I've been trying to rediscover the love of running that I had before. I just haven't felt it lately. He wants to run, and I am not going to say no to that. I get to spend time with my favorite little guy, and I'm learning to love running again.

This Is Show Week

This weekend was killer. Thursday night I had someone drop out of my show. We have a week left, so the stress the last few days has been massive.

Friday I had a few hours of peace. I got up super early and hiked Jay with Tracy and Kelee. Sitting on a mountain at 6am is a moment of perfect peace.

I could have stayed forever.

But, back to reality. It was tech weekend. Three days of work and sleepless nights.

My existence right now.

This morning my cast was supposed to be featured on a morning TV program, but we were bumped for coverage of flooding. I was up and caffeinated at 3am with no where to go. I took a nap, but I am still feeling exhausted. This show is taking a lot out of me, and I feel like I've hit a wall. I don't have the energy to exercise and my willpower is almost non-existent. This is show week.

Still, I love what I do. The show is coming along really well, and my cast is fabulous. I found someone to take over the role that was abandoned, and she's going to be great. I'm really excited for tonight's rehearsal. We're putting it all together. Costumes, lights, pit band, etc. It's my favorite rehearsal.

Show week always takes a toll on me. I take a break from exercise. I don't eat very well. I don't sleep. I'm trying to do better than usual. I'm sticking to my running plan (except my long run on Sunday - 2 hours of sleep and a thunderstorm squashed that). I'm trying to eat well. I'd say it's been about 60/40. Sleep has been my biggest issue. That should get better now that everything is coming together.

I'll be back on track soon. 

Closer to Normal

Today I am breathing through the stress. And exercising.

I started the day with a beautiful walk with the Moon Dog. The weather is amazing today. Cool and sunny and perfect. Our walk was a moment of peace in this crazy week.

I'm giving my legs a rest today. After sprints on Tuesday and a 3.3 mile run yesterday, my hips were sore. A day off will do me good.

I did an upper body workout instead. It felt great. I love how strong lifting makes me feel.

I can't go to TKD today, which is a bummer. TKD makes me feel powerful. It gives me an hour where I don't have to think about anything else. I can focus completely and forget the stress of the rest of my life. I did some practice on my own this morning, but it's not the same. Oh well. I'll get back into it when things settle down a little.

Even with everything that's going on, I am feeling pretty good. I've been eating really well and focusing on staying positive. It makes a huge difference. I'm just trying to find balance. Right now, it's going pretty well. I'm feeling closer to normal than I have in a really long time.

Resisting the Urge to Compare

It's hard to be an artist. Putting your vision out to the world opens you up to a lot of criticism. I'm fine with criticism. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I don't like comparison. In theatre, no show is ever going to be just like another. A different director, a different style, a different cast, space, budget, etc. It all changes the outcome. Yet, many people feel the need to compare. Even two shows with entirely different scripts and scores will be compared. It drives me nuts. They are both theatrical productions. That's it. Just like the cliche apples and oranges are both fruit.

Occasionally, I find myself falling into the comparison trap. I catch myself worrying if I am as good as X or if my ideas are duller than Y's. It's not productive thinking. What I love about theatre (and any creative outlet) is the celebration of what makes something unique. Why would I want to produce something that's exactly like something else? That's not creativity.

I am still struggling to resist comparison. It's not beneficial, and I can't go into something as big as a show doubting myself. I like my shows. I like my style. I'm confident in my actors. Why would I let others bring me down? Still, I'm human. It happens.

It's the same with running. I tend to compare myself to other runners. It's disheartening, and I set myself up for failure. I'm trying to avoid comparison and negative thinking and just learn to love it again. Like I used to.

I had a couple of good talks with other runners yesterday. Both are much faster than me. They're more consistent. But, the thing that struck me was that they both love it. Even on the bad days. It's a moment of balance and peace in their lives. They don't spend the whole time wishing they were faster or not breathing so hard or could run the whole thing. They just enjoy it.

I envy that. I want that. I'm working on it.

More and more I think about how short life is. We have so little time that it seems stupid to waste it on comparison and negativity. I want to do what I love. I want to enjoy my life.

With that in mind, I dragged myself out of bed after only 4 hours of sleep and went running with some friends. Today was a scheduled rest day, but I wanted to run with them. So I did. I'll rest tomorrow. There were many times I could have compared myself to them and found fault, but I fought the urge. I focused on the good stuff. My friends, being awake before most people, the cool breeze and light rain, the feeling of getting up a hill. When I struggled I thought about the fact that I am alive and capable of running. I've got more than a lot of people.

Instead of comparing, I celebrated. Instead of feeling like a failure, I felt grateful. I'm improving. One day at a time.

Speedy and Healthy - Half Marathon Training Week 2

Yesterday was a bust. It was one of those days when nothing goes right. I managed a 40 minute upper body workout. Mostly dead lifts and push-ups. When I'm having a bad day, that's my go-to workout. Two of my favorite exercises and the most reward for a short workout. I felt a little better after working out, but I didn't push it. Just wasn't feeling it.

The day ended on a good note. We had a great rehearsal for the musical. We added the pit band, which is one of my favorites. It adds so much to the show. I'm getting really excited. It's going to be great.

I was determined that today would be better. I had a 3 mile easy run with 2 strides on my training schedule, but things didn't go according to plan. I slept through my first alarm. I heard the second one, but by that time I didn't have time to run. Too bad because the weather was cool and perfect. I had to get creative.

I took the kids to their school's soccer field and did speed work while they played. It was rough. The sun came out, and it was hot. I haven't done outdoor speed work in a long time. It was hard, but it also reminded me of how I used to feel. Sprinting on a field used to be one of my favorite things, and even though I was gasping for breath and my heart was hammering in my chest, it felt great to be out there again. I'd like to start going there once a week. The kids had fun playing, and I got in a great workout.

I didn't get in the mileage on my plan. It was about 1.10 miles altogether. Thursday was supposed to be speed work, so I'm just going to swap them. I'm not stressing about it. I already feel so much better after two runs and consistent exercise. Plus, I've been eating healthy foods and making sure I am drinking enough water. It makes such a difference.

I'm happy with how I'm doing, and I'm going to stay focused throughout the next two weeks. It's going to be stressful, but running and eating right will help me manage.

First Run of Half Training

Today I officially started my half marathon training program. I actually should have started on Tuesday, but I didn't figure out the weeks until the Leaf Peeper until yesterday. So, I missed the first two easy runs. No biggie. I've been doing a little running with my kids. I didn't have the mileage, but it's better than nothing.

Today called for 6 easy miles. Since I've taken so much time off I knew I should cut back and ease myself into it. I could have done 6, but I am also still working to fix an injury. I decided not to push it. I did walk/run intervals and went for 4.5 miles. It was a good choice. It was hot and humid, and my legs felt like lead by the time I had done 3 miles. 6 would have been too much of a jump.

Pre-run: Tired but motivated!

Next week I will stick to the plan. I've never actually used a set training plan before, so I am interested to see what happens over the next twelve weeks.

I also used today's run to break in my new sneakers. I am usually a Mizunos girl, but I decided to try a different brand this time. My physical therapist suggested a shoe with more cushion. While I love the super-light Mizunos, they do not have a lot of cushion.

I got a pair of Asics, and they seem pretty good. A little heavier, but a lot of cushion and a good fit. They also did not need breaking in. They felt great from the moment I stepped out the door.

When I get closer to the race, I will probably get another pair of Mizunos and alternate. I like light shoes for races, but for everyday mileage I think these Asics will be a good fit.

I'm excited to have a big goal again. I needed something. I've definitely been floundering for a while. Running definitely makes me feel good, and a big goal will keep me motivated.

Speaking of motivating, my friend Michelle is racing her first 70.3 today. She has been such an inspiration, and I cannot wait to hear all about her race. She's worked incredibly hard for a very long time. I know she's going to crush it!!

Kind of makes me want to try a tri....but the swimming part makes me nervous. I can swim forever, but my form is crappy. I also don't know how to breathe and tend to feel like I'm drowning when I try. We'll see. Maybe next year I'll feel differently. For now running is enough. Leaf Peeper in October, and Michelle and I are splitting the Burlington Marathon next May (assuming we get in). That's enough to keep me motivated and excited for now.

Absolutely Awesome

Today was a gorgeous day. Absolutely perfect. Even with car trouble, I knew we had to go out and carpe diem. The Artist has been asking to hike Jay Peak, and today was the perfect day for a hike.

We had some troubles and scrapes, but it was a great hike. The kids had a great time.

Before the hike, they insisted that we do our run. Happy mom moment! We did our quarter mile and the celebratory cheer. It's become part of the run. We put our hands in and say 1, 2, 3, great run! Love, love, love them.

Our hike was so much fun. We took our time, took breaks, and admired mushrooms, leaves, butterflies, and flowers. I can't think of a better way to spend the day.

 So pretty.

Bliss.

Just Breathe

Today has been challenging...and it's 9:30 in the morning.

Both of my cars have decided to develop some major issues, which is just adding to the stress of this week. I'm trying to stay calm and breathe. Hoping things get better from here. At least I have TKD tonight. I'm looking forward to a good workout.

I also get some girl-time tonight with my friends. I need it.

The kids and I went for another run today. It was great. They decided to go the other direction and run up hill. They wanted a challenge. Happy mom moment. I'm always trying to get them to challenge themselves. The hill was hard, but they loved the downhill run back.

Kid Inspiration and A Definite Goal

Today I came downstairs to find the Artist working out. He was using my interval timer and doing different exercises. It made my heart happy. I don't force my kids to exercise, but I do encourage it. I've been talking with them about wanting to start exercising and eating better. I guess they listened.

At this point, I want my kids to enjoy exercise. I let them workout for as long as they want without pushing for them to do more. They usually start out small and then start coming up with more things to do. Today the Artist grabbed the TKD pad and asked me to hold it while he practiced. He did a lot, and the Bean was inspired to join in.

He inspired me too. I did an interval workout using TKD moves and isometrics. It was a good workout. When I was finished, the kids asked to run, so we ran to the end of our road and back. The kids did pretty well with pacing and ran the whole time. Bean had been planning on walking some of it, and she was proud that she made it the whole way.

Today I put my running goal into motion. I looked up the half I was considering for the fall, and registration was open. I signed up for the Leaf Peeper again. It's a great race, a pretty course, and I love the long-sleeved shirts! (Yes, it is all about the shirt.)

The half is my favorite distance. It's not a crazy long distance, but it requires training. I need this kind of motivation right now, and fall runs are the best! Runner's World put out a new half training plan, and it doesn't look too taxing. I want something I can follow that will ease me back into it. I like that I don't have to think about it and can just do what's on the paper. I've never followed a strict training plan before. I'm interested to see how it works.

Standing Still

Stasis.
noun

1. 1.

   a period or state of inactivity or equilibrium.

That's me. I've been going through the motions most of the time, but I haven't been putting much effort into exercise, my eating, or my writing. I haven't felt that bad about it, which is surprising. I just haven't had the motivation.

I feel like I'm coming out of it now. I've set some definite goals, and I am beginning to plan how to achieve them. I want to run again. I want to do a half again. Maybe more than one. I am planning on splitting the Burlington marathon next year with my friend, Michelle. She's super fast and in crazy good shape, so I want to start training now. Plus, part of me really wants to do a half this fall. It's the best time of year to run, and there are some great races in VT in autumn. 

I also want to improve at Taekwondo. I really enjoy it. I have decided to stick with it and get a black belt. (It makes me nervous to even type that.) I need to start working on it at home. My first step is to practice my pattern every day. I've been keeping track for almost a week and logging the number of times I run through it. It's a small, attainable goal, and I feel like it's helping. Even if it just helps me relax about doing it in front of people. I get really nervous and don't do as well as I could. I need to work on my focus.

I've started thinking about how to strengthen and improve myself for Taekwondo. I'm going to start working it into my home workouts. I want to not only get stronger but also improve my skills and plyometrics. I feel like I'm ready to work for it.

My only other goal is to be calm and enjoy my life. 

I feel like I'm doing pretty well with exercise lately. I've worked out and pushed myself for the last two days. This morning I got up and did a workout. It doesn't seem like much, but I have been literally doing no exercise. I need to start being active again. I feel so much better when I do.

On the other hand, food has been a crazy battle. I've been overindulging and not caring at all. Until the next day. I've slipped back into my old mentality. Just a little, but enough to scare me. I will not go back to the way I was. It doesn't feel good.

Today, I read something amazing. It brought me back to the right frame of mind. It reminded me that strength is important. I remember how empowering it feels to be strong. My love of lifting is back. That's always the first thing to come back. 

Read it here.

Life is good. I'm back on track. I've let myself slip. I accept it. I'm not thrilled that I have so much to undo, but I am ready to do it.