Standing Still

Stasis.
noun

1. 1.

   a period or state of inactivity or equilibrium.

That's me. I've been going through the motions most of the time, but I haven't been putting much effort into exercise, my eating, or my writing. I haven't felt that bad about it, which is surprising. I just haven't had the motivation.

I feel like I'm coming out of it now. I've set some definite goals, and I am beginning to plan how to achieve them. I want to run again. I want to do a half again. Maybe more than one. I am planning on splitting the Burlington marathon next year with my friend, Michelle. She's super fast and in crazy good shape, so I want to start training now. Plus, part of me really wants to do a half this fall. It's the best time of year to run, and there are some great races in VT in autumn. 

I also want to improve at Taekwondo. I really enjoy it. I have decided to stick with it and get a black belt. (It makes me nervous to even type that.) I need to start working on it at home. My first step is to practice my pattern every day. I've been keeping track for almost a week and logging the number of times I run through it. It's a small, attainable goal, and I feel like it's helping. Even if it just helps me relax about doing it in front of people. I get really nervous and don't do as well as I could. I need to work on my focus.

I've started thinking about how to strengthen and improve myself for Taekwondo. I'm going to start working it into my home workouts. I want to not only get stronger but also improve my skills and plyometrics. I feel like I'm ready to work for it.

My only other goal is to be calm and enjoy my life. 

I feel like I'm doing pretty well with exercise lately. I've worked out and pushed myself for the last two days. This morning I got up and did a workout. It doesn't seem like much, but I have been literally doing no exercise. I need to start being active again. I feel so much better when I do.

On the other hand, food has been a crazy battle. I've been overindulging and not caring at all. Until the next day. I've slipped back into my old mentality. Just a little, but enough to scare me. I will not go back to the way I was. It doesn't feel good.

Today, I read something amazing. It brought me back to the right frame of mind. It reminded me that strength is important. I remember how empowering it feels to be strong. My love of lifting is back. That's always the first thing to come back. 

Read it here.

Life is good. I'm back on track. I've let myself slip. I accept it. I'm not thrilled that I have so much to undo, but I am ready to do it.