Consistency.

Right now, my biggest day-to-day fitness goal is consistency. It's a struggle. I've been doing okay. I really love lifting, and I've been following a good training plan. My biggest struggle with consistency right now is my parathyroid. It's been about two years, and I have some pretty painful days. I did just have some tests done, so hopefully things will move forward soon. 

Until then, I will do what I can. There are some days when walking is my only option. Some days even walking is too much. I've been identifying how my body reacts to different things. Running destroys me. It's such a bummer. I like running. I want to run. I have some big goals that require running. I just have to plan for some serious rest days afterward. Yoga is hit or miss, but it's relaxing. TKD depends on what we do. Jumping is rough. We did lots of jumping in class on Monday, and I can still feel it in my ankles. Walking and lifting are my best options. Lifting actually makes it feel better. I don't know why, but I'm just going to go with it. Walking is the best. I've been trying to get in my Moon Dog miles.

I've been consistent with workouts since Thanksgiving. Lots of lifting. TKD was awesome and totally worth the ankle pain. Post-Thanksgiving workout = cardio and so many push-ups. Loved it. Moon Dog and I have been on some cold winter walks. 

Yesterday I took a complete day off. I needed it. That's the silver lining of this whole thing. I am forced to listen to my body. I am forced to slow down. This is something I have probably needed for a long time. I tend to do too much (in all aspects of my life), and I never take days off. This makes me take full rest days. If I don't pay attention, I end up needing two.

Today, I got in 2 miles with the pooch and lifted. Other than my ankles, things are feeling pretty good! 

Get It Done First

I'm back. Sometimes, I need to take some time and get my head right. This time it took 6 months. I've been active, and I've started working with nutrition coaches. I've been dealing with the issue with my parathyroid. I haven't felt great, but I am pushing myself to be active regardless. Some days it is just a short walk, but I get it done.

Which is why the blog is back. I've been running again. My approach is different this time. Slow progress and different motivators. I have long term goals of course. Big ones that I'm not quite ready to talk about but will in the future. For now, it's baby steps.

My goals right now (for running) are to run 2 times a week (one longer) and to stretch and foam roll after each run. I'm also lifting and doing TKD, so I've got a nice balance going on right now. I feel good. Running is going well. I'm happy with anything and have found a short run that I enjoy.

The mid-week run is the difficult one. My schedule is absolutely nuts right now. This morning I thought about everything I had to do today and thought that I would have to just walk Moo today. While driving the kids to school, I realized I was dressed for running and had my headphones with me. There was no reason not to go run after I dropped them off. Get it done first and nothing can take it away.

I went. It was cold. Everything was covered in frost and shining. It was a perfect November morning.

I can't believe I almost skipped it. I have a lot to do, but I'm glad I took some time for myself. I am a nicer person when I take care of myself, and that has been a big focus over the last six months.

This morning's run was tough. I was sore from lifting, and my legs were stiff. They took a long time to warm up. It was not a great run, but even as I was forcing my feet to go, I was happy to be out there and happy that I took the time.

My favorite so far was my longer run on Saturday. I ended up running 10k, and I felt great. I also recovered quickly, which was surprising to me. I had not planned to go quite that far, but it was a gorgeous day, and I wanted to run. I got to my end point, and it was 5.82. I decided to add on some more and get six. Ended up doing a little more.

It brought back everything I loved about training. Time alone. No other obligations. Fighting through the first 3 miles and then hitting the sweet spot when I feel like I can go forever. I did some walking, especially in the first 3, because my arches were on fire, but I'm still pleased with how it went. It got done. It's a step in the right direction.

So, that's it. I'm doing what I can and enjoying it. Back to documenting it.

Thankful and Healing

Things I'm thankful for today:

#1 I am not in any pain for the first time in a year. Honestly, I've gotten so used to being uncomfortable that it kind of freaked me out. 

#2 Physical Therapy. I love it. I've been going for the last few weeks to fix a problem with my shoulder. It was causing constant, painful headaches for about 6 months. Today, I have no headache. It's pretty amazing. My PT also told me that my ankle is strained tendons and nothing more serious. Very happy about that.

#3 Taking a long walk in the sunshine with my Moon Dog. It has been warm and sunny for two days now, and I am loving it. Went for a 3 mile walk with the pooch this morning, and it was pain free! Amazing. 

So, the last few weeks have been pretty rough. I was in a lot of pain and feeling pretty run down. My body felt like a 90 year old (or how I imagine it feels, anyway). I've been trying to exercise while also resting both my ankle and my shoulder. I'm trying to focus on letting my body repair. The final tournament of the season was last weekend, and I can finally relax a little and focus on feeling better. I have to admit, I have been pushing myself even though I should have been resting. 

I've been careful with my eating and with my movement. I have been doing everything I need to do to combat my medical issues and staying well hydrated. I feel better. Not 100%, but so much better than before. I already feel so much better.

I've also been trying to stay positive and calm. I've been meditating regularly. I usually follow my own plan, but it's seemed like too much work lately. I don't want to have to think about it, so I found a guided meditation app that looked like what I was looking for. I wanted something simple and something that would keep me consistent. It's called Headspace, and they offer 10 days of 10 minute meditations for free. I just completed day 10 (admittedly it took me more than 10 days - life doesn't always cooperate). It's great. It's simple and consistent, and I don't have to think about it (or anything else). The subscription fee is really low, and I plan on subscribing and getting even more meditation packs. The calm I feel is totally worth it. 

So, that's it. Nothing too exciting. It's been a week of healing. Exactly what I needed.

Rainy Walk

It's been a good week. I jammed my ankle (same one that I hurt in the tournament) during class on Monday, and it's been sore all week. I tried to let it rest and stuck to upper body workouts and short walks.

Yesterday, I decided to do some hip strengtheners. They didn't feel like much at the time, but I'm feeling it today. I went for a walk with the Artist this morning to loosen up my muscles. It was lightly raining when we started, and it started raining harder as we went.

We had a great time.

And, got in some stretches.

He's one of my favorite exercise partners. We always have such a great time.

Tournament 2 Recap

My body is aching. My heel/ankle is swollen and on ice, and I am sitting here with an overwhelming feeling of contentment and gratitude. I just got home from the second TKD tournament of the season.

I went into this tournament feeling a lot more relaxed than usual. I was trying my weapons pattern for the first time, I was trying my regular pattern for the first time, and I did not plan on sparring. Other than just getting through both patterns, I only had one goal: get my break (with two boards) on the first try. I figured it would go how it would go, and I didn't stress about it. I should do that more often.

Before I get into the nitty-gritty of how I did. I have to, once again, talk about how much I love Taekwondo. The people are fantastic. There is definitely some competition, but everyone is really friendly and supportive. I'm beginning to recognize more and more faces, especially in the ladies division. We have such a good time. There is some competitiveness, but we cheer each other on and celebrate everyone's victories. It's a really awesome group of ladies. The judges are also amazing. I had two of my favorites today, one for weapons and one for ladies division. They truly enjoy it and make it a lot of fun.

I love that people are always trying to outdo themselves. That's the main competition. It's amazing to see what can happen with the adrenaline of competition. The woman who got gold in breaking for our group broke three boards. She told me she had never done more than two, but she just let it flow. Incredible.

I love watching the struggle, too. If it's not difficult, then you're not challenging yourself. All of the ladies stepped it up, and there was some struggles. There were also some awesome successes and some positive "I'll try again next time" attitudes. I love it. I completely understand the struggle. I have never felt like I did really well at a tournament. My nerves get to me every time. I struggle every time. Some days are better than others. Last tournament, I bombed. This one was okay but very, very, VERY far from perfect.

Okay, here's the recap.

I started with my bo staff pattern. I have never competed in weapons, and I just got my new bo staff yesterday. No time to practice, and it is incredibly light compared to what I was practicing with. I was nervous, my hands were sweating, and I was shaky. It didn't go great. I got distracted early on by an audience member saying, "well, I could do that" really loudly. Go for it, lady. All the more power to ya if you can handle the nerves better than I can.

Overall, it was okay. I know what to improve, and I got through it without dropping the bo. Goal achieved. Next time will go better.

I then waited around for a long time and watched my kiddos compete. There were some struggles, but they both stayed positive and took away lessons from their competitions. That's all I ever want for them. They both earned medals and did pretty well. They got to play with friends and make new friends. They had a great time.

I was practicing when they called my group, so I almost missed staging. I sprinted over and didn't have a ton of time to get nervous. Being late might have been a good thing. I decided at the last minute to do sparring, so no time to worry about that either.

Patterns were first, and I was nervous about it. I just learned the end of my pattern on Monday, so I was pretty sure that my brain would freeze up as soon as I started. It didn't go that bad. I got through it and didn't miss a move - although did hesitate for just a second while I tried to remember what came next. I tied for third place, so not too bad. I'll keep working on it and have a little more confidence with it next time.

Breaking. My favorite. There is nothing more satisfying than putting your foot through a board. The ladies have really been ramping up their breaks this year, and I knew I was in for some stiff competition. I also went into it feeling a little concerned. I had just been practicing my break with my instructor and could not break even one board. But, I am stubborn. I decided I would go for two. I did it before. I can do it again, right? My heel already hurts, but it'll be fine, right?

The best thing to do in breaking is not think. Thinking makes me hesitate. I turned off my brain and broke it. First try. Two boards. Goal achieved.

I am pretty hard on myself, but I'm proud of that one. Of course, I have no idea what to do next, but...I'll figure that out Monday.

I ended up getting second because another woman rocked the previously mentioned break with three boards. I will gladly take second to that. It was amazing.

Then it was sparring time. I will openly admit that I am not a fan of sparring. I don't mind it, but I am not good at it. I can't think quickly enough in a situation like that. I don't even know what I do when I go out there.

I hadn't planned on sparring today. I didn't want to stress about it as well as stressing about the weapons pattern. I decided last minute to do it, and as usual, I'm glad I did. The women in our group are so much fun. We don't go out to destroy each other. We cheer each other on. It's actually pretty fun. Since I hadn't been stressing about it, I really enjoyed it. I went up twice and had good, fairly even matches. The scores went back and forth almost every point. It was a lot of fun. I ended up getting third place, which I was surprised by and very happy about. Overall, a good day.

This post is turning into a novel, but I have to talk about one more thing. During the opening meeting, we watched a woman be promoted to 9th Dan Black Belt - the highest you can go. I got teary eyed watching her receive her plaque. It was incredible to think about the time and dedication she had put into it, and it was really inspiring.

It made me think about how long I want to keep practicing. I usually take TKD day-by-day, week-by-week, tournament-by tournament. I've always assumed I will continue until I get my black belt, but I'd never thought about what happens after that. I think I'm in. I think I am going to continue until I can't. I love it. The people, the process, the challenges, all of it. By far one of my best decisions.

Not Taking A Break Yet

I've been really achy for the last week, and I didn't end up exercising as much as I had planned. I've been feeling really run down, and my feet have been bothering me. That combined with a super busy weekend and nothing gets accomplished.

Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous and warm, so I took the Moon Dog for a walk. I also went out into the backyard and practiced my bo staff pattern. It was fun to practice outside in the sunshine. I went to TKD class last night. It was a great class, but I was definitely not feeling 100%.

There's a tournament this weekend. I was planning on taking a break and not competing in this one, but my weapons instructor wants me to do my bo staff pattern. So, I'm trying something new this weekend. Never done a weapons pattern before. It should be interesting. I may also try to do my new pattern. I just learned the rest of it last night, so it will be what it will be. Might as well try it, though. Why not?

I'm planning on doing my break. My goal for it is to get it first try. I've got two more tournaments to get it. So far, I got it first try in practice, it took two tries in the tournament, and three tries at testing. My nerves make everything so much more difficult.

If I'm feeling the way I have been for the last few days, I will probably skip sparring this time. My ankles are bothering me, and I can't imagine sparring right now.

So, this week the focus is on TKD completely. Today I worked on my patterns and my break. I'm feeling really sore and run down from last night's class, so I didn't do a ton of practicing. I'm hoping I'll feel better and can do more in the next couple days.

I followed my workout up with some yoga and gentle stretching. I've got a couple tight muscles that will hopefully loosen up a little bit before Saturday.

I'm excited for the tournament. The people are great, and it's a really fun day. Both kiddos are competing, too. They're excited, and I know we'll have a good time.

Determined To Run Again

Tonight was a perfect night for a run. Sunny, 40s - my ideal running conditions. I've been wanting to start running again, but I've been nervous to get started. Until now, I've been running intervals on my road while the Bean scootered beside me. It was a nice way to ease back into running, but it wasn't the same.

I needed some me time. Lately, I've been feeling a little overwhelmed. It seems that everywhere I turn, someone needs something from me, and they need it ASAP. It's exhausting and has been messing with my head. Today, I felt good physically, and the weather was ideal. I knew I had to go.

It went pretty well. I walked less than I expected I would. I tried to only walk when the pain in my feet and shins got unbearable. I only had to walk three times in almost 3 miles. I'm pretty happy with that. My pace was the best it has been in almost a year. The first thing I struggled with when I started feeling sick was running. I went from being able to comfortably run 6 miles to not being able to run at all. Three miles feels like a major accomplishment. It gives me hope that things are getting better.

I was convinced for a while that I was done running. I tried to tell myself that I was okay with that, but I really wasn't. There is nothing quite like running. I love the way I feel (minus the pain). I love how I feel after. I love the energy boost I get from running. I missed it. As the weather began getting nicer, I missed it even more.

One run down. I am so happy about that. For now, I am going to take things slow. I want to continue my almost daily intervals runs with the Bean, and I would like to add in one run on the weekends. That's enough for now. I'll take it.

Patterns and Priorities

This past week I have been focusing on my patterns. I know I have a long way to go before black belt testing, but the patterns keep getting harder. I do not ever want to blank out during a testing again. I also really enjoy patterns. It's a definite workout, but it's also relaxing, almost meditative.

TKD made my day yesterday. I thought about going into detail, but I'm sure no one wants to read a rant about my stress and frustration. There's no need to give it more energy than it deserves. Let's just say that yesterday sucked for so many reasons, and I was looking forward to going to class.

It was a good class, obstacle courses and a great cardio workout. We also started our new pattern, and I love it. I've been waiting for this one since my daughter did it, and I learned the first half yesterday. I'm going to add it to my (almost) daily pattern practice. We're in the middle of tournament season. I don't know if I will be ready to compete with it, but I am hoping I will be able to try it at the May tournament.

I also worked some more on my weapons pattern. I absolutely love the bo staff. It's one of those things that just clicked immediately. I really love my pattern so far and have been practicing it daily. I added more to it last night, and it is so much fun. Challenging, but fun, which is exactly what I need.

More and more I am enjoying the process of Taekwondo. It's the first time I have truly been able to internalize the idea of "your only competition is yourself." I've set some goals for myself that have nothing to do with tournaments or medals, and I am slowly chipping away at them. It's nice to see the small improvements and be able to celebrate them because I am not comparing myself to someone else.

In addition to TKD, I have been lifting this week. I also did a small run on Sunday. I have been craving a run, but the pain it causes has been a deterrent. Sunday was absolutely gorgeous. Perfect running weather. I picked a stretch of our road that went slightly uphill and ran it 7 times. The Bean rode her scooter beside me and pushed me to do more. She's a good trainer. I ended up doing about 3/4 of a mile, which seems like nothing when I think back to my 22 mile long run days, but I am at a different place right now with different challenges. I was happy just to run.

There was definitely some pain after. That's not something that's going to go away soon (or maybe ever). My goal for the summer is to find some new cardio options. I love running, but it does not love me. I don't think I'll ever be able to give it up completely, but unless something changes drastically, I have to have other options.

Today is leg day. So the plan is lifting, patterns, and another set of running intervals with The Bean later. I've been making an effort to make my workouts a priority. It takes an hour (or so) a day and improves my life immensely. When facing massive amounts of stress, the first thing to go is anything that I do for myself. This is not a healthy practice, and it needs to stop. I'm a better wife, mother, employee, and person when I take care of myself. Another lesson that I am slowly learning.

What are you doing today to be active? Do you make yourself a priority in your life?

Struggling and Learning

It's been about 2 months since I've posted. I took a break. A much needed one.

I've been really struggling with exercise for a while. I've got a few medical issues that are taking forever to resolve, and I've been limited. I constantly feel run down, and my bones (especially my feet and hands) have been aching. Running became unbearable, I had to find other forms of exercise. It took a toll on me physically and emotionally. It's difficult to stay positive when you feel so crappy. I've been feeling like I am failing, and writing about it was making me feel worse.

It all got a little overwhelming, so I took a break from blogging and focused on taking care of myself. I got into a good, consistent program of lifting and practicing TKD. I was feeling stronger and more confident. Then life started getting more hectic, and I let it affect my routine. I stopped making exercise a priority. I stopped making me a priority. It's frightening how easy it is to slip to the bottom of your list.

I'm still struggling, but I am really trying to stay positive and find the good in the struggle. I recently went to the first TKD tournament of the year, and it did not go well. I felt off and just didn't do very well. I took two tries to break my boards, which I had been getting on the first try. I was frustrated, but on the bright side, I did break two boards for the first time. I also enjoyed being with the other women in our division. It's a fun and supportive group of great ladies, and everyone at the tournament is very positive and inspiring.

I decided to work harder and improve my break. Next tournament my goal is to get it first try. Two boards. I'm also back to daily meditation and trying to get control over my thoughts. My nerves are my biggest adversary. I need to get out of my head.

The TKD struggles continue. Yesterday was testing, and I felt terrible. I was nauseous, overheating, and dizzy, but I wasn't going to miss it. I worked hard and was really looking forward to getting my new belt.

I got it, but it was a major struggle. I blanked out and completely forgot every pattern except the very first and my current one. I'm not sure what I was doing out there, but it was not pretty. I struggled with moves that I have gotten gold medals for in the past. I got my belt but felt pretty disappointed with myself.

Today's a new day. I really enjoy TKD, and I am not going to quit after a couple of embarrassing mess ups. Part of my workout today was to go through all of my patterns - over and over and over again. I was happy that they are still somewhere in my brain. I guess they took a vacation last night.

I also practiced the beginning of my bo staff pattern. I've only been working on it for a little while, but I love it. I feel comfortable with a bo staff, and it combines everything I like about patterns with a little more creativity/individuality. So much fun.

So, I'm back to blogging. I may not be in a great place, and I may feel like I am struggling, but I'm not done trying. I'm going to keep learning, and hopefully, improving.