Weaknesses

This is something I really struggle to accept. My weaknesses are not something I am proud of. They don't make me feel confident. Or strong. I really hate feeling weak.

But, I've got to deal with it. This thing with my parathyroid has made me weaker than I've been in years. It's sapped all of my energy. My bones, joints, and muscles ache. It kept me up last night, so I'm feeling pretty burnt out today.

I still did get in a walk with the Moon Dog and a short workout.

Monday's Halloween workout:

knee tucks 25 reps x2
exercise ball push-ups 25 reps x2

alternating tucks 10 reps/side x2
1-arm ball push-ups 6 reps/side x2

chest press w/ exercise band 15 reps x2
inner thigh squeezes w/ ball 50 reps x2

chest fly w/ exercise band 15 reps x2
standing band rows 25 reps x2

ball hyperextensions 20 reps x2
arm pulses w/ the ball 30 reps x2


It's not much, but it was a struggle. I hate that feeling. Still, better than nothing.

I'm a week away from my appointment with the endocrinologist. I really hope I get some answers and can move onto the next step. I'm so tired of feeling weak.

Little Runner

I have created a running monster. The Artist may become Little Runner. The boy is completely hooked. On Saturday, we braved the pouring rain and ran the Glow Run 5k.

I have a new reason to work on my running. The boy is fast. He took off, and there was no way I was catching him. My shins were on fire, and my legs were stiff from my morning run. Normally, I wouldn't mind him ditching me, but it was dark, pouring rain, and the course wasn't closed. He ran the first mile without stopping, but then he waited for me. We ran most of the course. It had been steadily raining the whole time, and it picked up when we were almost done. We ran about 2.7 miles.

It was a blast. We were cold and soaked, but we had a lot of fun. The Artist was ecstatic. He kept saying it was the best race ever. He wanted to do more running. He started talking about training for the Milk Run (a 10k in June). I am so thrilled that he loves running. Now, I've got to get in better shape, so we can run it together.

He started his training this morning. He asked me to get him up early, and he hopped on the treadmill. He did 15 minutes before getting ready for school. He was so proud. I am, too.

The Glow Run kind of wrecked me. My PF is back. I'm working on making it better, but it's still pretty painful. Sunday was an active rest day. I was on my feet for most of the day (ouch), but I didn't get in a workout.

On Monday, the kids and husband had a day off from school. It was a relaxing day. We were not very active for most of it, so we decided to do a family workout. Everyone got to pick 3 exercises, and we all got to go twice. It was fun and ended up being a pretty good workout.

Today, I broke my workout up into a few shorter workouts.

Tuesday's workouts:

20 min. speed intervals on the treadmill - my feet hurt after. I did some stretching, which helped a little.

Lift - lower body
squats 135#  5 reps x2
calf raises  135#  10 reps x2
Won Ho x2

plie squats 135# 6 reps x2
one leg lunges 8 reps/side x2

Won Hyo x2


Yoga x2
15 minutes - post treadmill workout
10 minutes - post lifting

Meditation
10 minutes

It all adds up. Every little bit counts.

Two Run Saturday

Yesterday and today have been completely different. Yesterday, I was not feeling great. Low energy, no motivation, stressed. I did manage to get in a short workout.

Friday's workout:

360 hook kicks
straight leg stretch kicks 10 reps/side
chamber hold, hold side kick, chamber, hold back kick, chamber 10 sec hold/each  x2

barbell shoulder press 45#  10 reps x2
barbell row 45#  15 reps x2
overhead triceps extension 15#  15 reps x2

t-bar row 35# 12 reps x2
1 arm bar toss 35#  10 reps/side x2
skull crushers 15#  15 reps x2


Not much, but better than nothing.

Today is off to a great start. I drank a lot of water yesterday and felt much better today. I was excited to run, and I decided to challenge myself. It was cold and raining, but I was still excited to go. I chose one of my favorite routes. I decided to leave the music and audio books at home and just run with my thoughts. An hour of peace was incredible.

It was a challenging run. Lots of hills. I was also running into a headwind, and the first two miles were painful. My shins ached so much that I had to stop and stretch a few times. My hip flexors, quads, and shins were tight bands of pain. Stretching helped, and the pain eventually went away.

I made sure to stretch when I was done. I've got to stay loose. I'm breaking my long run into two shorter runs today. This morning I did 3.75 miles. Tonight, the Artist and I are running in a local Glow Run 5k. He's super excited, and so am I. I love it when we run together. He's a great running buddy. Add in that we're running at night and covered in glow sticks, and it's going to be a blast.

The two runs together will be almost 7 miles. Perfect. My running goal this week will be complete. One step closer.

Proof

I love Vermont.

Short Run #2 - On Track!

Today was a much better day. I drank a bunch of water yesterday, so I didn't feel quite so fatigued or nauseous this morning. I took the Moon Dog for a walk and then went for a run/walk with my fabulous friend, Tracy. I really appreciated that she let me set our pace because as always now, my heart rate skyrocketed as soon as we started running. We did 1 min intervals and almost 3 miles. It was a beautiful morning for a run.

So, I am still on track for this week. Today was my second scheduled short run. It was nice to run with someone. I've been running solo because I hate feeling like I'm slowing people down. I like running alone, but it's also nice to have someone to talk to once in a while. I'm hoping to start her boot camp classes next week. I've been putting it off mostly because I've been exhausted, but if I am completely honest, I've also been nervous about going back - and embarrassed. I haven't been to a boot camp class since I was in shape, and I am embarrassed about how much I have let myself go. Still, the only way to get back into shape is to challenge myself. I plan on being there on Monday morning. I'll do what I can until I can do more.

Yesterday, I did end up doing a yoga workout. It was extremely necessary. My muscles have been painfully tight, and I know if I don't stretch regularly I will end up getting hurt. I'm aiming for one or two long yoga sessions every week as well as a minimum of 10 minutes of stretching most days.

I also threw in a quick push-up/TKD workout yesterday because I felt like stress-eating. It was enough to stop my cravings and make me feel calmer.

Wednesday's second workout:

push-ups level 1  10 reps
1 arm push-ups level 1  10 reps/side
Won Hyo x2

push-ups level 2  10 reps
1 arm push-ups level 2  10 reps/side
Won Hyo x2

push-ups level 3  10 reps
1 arm push-ups level 3  10 reps/side
Won Hyo x2


I still need to stretch this evening, but I'm feeling good today.

Every Small Step

Home today with a sick kiddo. Snuggles and rest all day. Exactly what I need. Today is not a good day. I'm feeling nauseous and completely wiped out. I cannot wait to get this parathyroid thing fixed. I'm tired of feeling sick and tired.

I'm still recovering from show week. The performances were amazing. It was one of the best things I've worked on, and I was lucky enough to have an amazing group of actors to work with. Such a fun experience, but I didn't sleep much for the last week. I'm trying to get caught up, but this month is crazy. I'm slowly starting to feel like myself again.

I've been trying to stay on track with my workouts. This is week 1 of my base-building for the marathon. During show week I did what I could and ate what I wanted. Now, I am following a training plan and keeping my food choices healthy (mostly). I'm tracking my measurements, since it tends to be more positive than tracking weight loss. I'm feeling okay - minus the fatigue and nausea today.

Monday's workout was TKD class. It was a rough one. I was having a supremely bad day and not feeling super focused. I jammed my thumb about halfway through class. It swelled until I couldn't bend it, and it was really painful. Even with my newest injury, class was good. I felt much better afterward. It's such a great stress reliever. I'm going to have to miss it for two weeks (no class next week and then Halloween), and I am not looking forward to it. I'll have to practice on my own, but it's not the same as class.

Tuesday was a run day. I am trying to focus on the fact that I am starting over. Anything is better than nothing, and it will be a long, slow process to get where I need to be. I have time. I need to be patient. Not one of my strengths. I am very patient with others. With myself, not so much. Yesterday, I felt kind of ill. Not as bad as this morning but not great. It took a lot to motivate myself to do it. It was a gorgeous, sunny day, but I just didn't want to go. So, I finally got myself on the treadmill. I did intervals - 5 minute walk / 5 minute run - for 45 minutes. It was a slow, easy run. I could have done more, but I accepted that it was enough. Consistency is what matters now. 2-3 short, easy runs (or speed work) during the week and one long run on the weekend. That's the goal right now. It will get easier over time.

Today, I probably won't get much done. Between taking care of my boy, not feeling well myself, and needing to clean the whole house, I don't think I'll have much energy left for anything else. I'm hoping for a short lifting session or some yoga. My muscles are tight, and my PF has come back. Stretching and rest seem like the best choices right now.

On track for now. Every day is a step in the right direction.

Next Chapter

Letting go can be difficult, but it's necessary. If you never let anything go, eventually you have too much.

That's where I'm at right now. I have accumulated too much. I take on too many projects and feel like I can't let go of any of the past projects. I feel like I'm letting people down, but something has to change. Things have been too busy. I want time with my family. I want time to work on new projects. I want to take care of myself.

So, I'm letting go of something that is no longer fulfilling. It will free up my evenings and give me more time with my family. It will reduce my stress and give me time to work on new endeavors. I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I'm taking care of myself and making room for new experiences. And, I'm going to have more time to be a good mom. That's what matters most.

Hell Week Workouts

I'm at the end of Hell Week - for non-theatre people, it's the week leading up to the show. I'm exhausted. I've had a tension headache for four days, I've been making poor eating choices, and not sleeping enough. And yet, it is my favorite part of working on a show. I love watching it all come together.

It hasn't left much time for exercise. Sunday, I walked with my super-awesome friend, Michelle. We got to chat and got in a 4 mile walk. On Monday, I managed to make it to TKD. This has become a priority for me, and I really didn't want to miss class. I'm really glad I went. It's such a stress-reducer. Tuesday, I was not feeling motivated, but I did a good workout, anyway. I was feeling ill, dehydrated, and exhausted, but I got through it.

Tuesday's Workout:

squats 135# 6 reps x2
one leg jumps (foot on bench) 15 reps x2
Won Hyo x4

plie squats 135# 8 reps x2
one arm push-ups level 2  10 reps/side x2
Chun Gi, Dan Gun, Do San

punches 100 reps x2
reverse crunches on incline bench 10 reps x2
dead lifts 115# 6reps x2
Won Hyo x4

side db crunch 15#  10 reps/side
alternating lunge/front kicks 16 reps x2

Other than walking, I haven't done much for the last couple days. I'm hoping to get up and do a workout tomorrow morning, but if not, I'm not worried. I think sleep could be even more beneficial right now.

I've made a training plan for Phase 1 of my marathon training, and it starts Monday. I've planned out my workouts for the first two weeks, and I am ready to start taking care of myself again. This week has kicked my butt. Right now I am focused on being consistent and building a running base. When I get closer to the race, I will start a marathon training plan. I found one from Runner's World that looks good. It's a 16-week plan and seems like it will work with my life.

But, first, I've got to get through the shows. So excited!!

Goals 1, 2, 3

I've been thinking a lot about my goals lately. I have enjoyed some time doing whatever I want, but it's time for a new goal. I always do better when I am training for something.

Goal #1
My main goal is to improve at TKD. I enjoy it more than any other workouts (except lifting), and I want to do well at the tournaments this year. The first one isn't until March, but I want to be in much better shape by then. I'm trying to work on the areas that need the most improvement and have also started working on my break. I've got a plan, and I'm going to push myself.

Goal #2
Am I completely crazy? Lately, I've been considering something I wasn't sure I would ever do again. I've decided to do another marathon. It seems a little insane. I haven't been running a lot, and I haven't done anything over four miles. But, I found a marathon I really want to do. It's a year away - plenty of time to build a base and train.

The thing is, I have never trained properly for a distance run. Knowing what I know now, I'm kind of amazed I even completed my first marathon. I like the idea of training properly and seeing what I am capable of. I'll be interested to see how it compares to my first one. My daughter asked me what my goal was for the marathon. She was asking about speed/time, but I told her my goals are different. I want to train for it the right way and finish the race. I also want to continue running when it's over. The last one was so emotionally crushing that I stopped running for a long time. A short run within two weeks of completing my marathon would be a major success.

I jumped into the last marathon without thinking about it beforehand. This time, I gave it a lot of consideration. It's a major time commitment that affects more than just me, so I discussed it with my family. The kids support me 100%. They're excited about it and have been asking a lot of questions. Andy thinks I'm crazy and reminded me about my last race experience. He was concerned it would be the same as last time. I was considering the same race as last time when I first brought it up, and he didn't think it was a good idea. He was much more supportive when I told him about the one I found. It has a longer cut-off time and is in one of our favorite areas of Maine. He's officially on board and very supportive. I'm so glad because I really couldn't do it without his support.

Goal #3
This one is a short-term goal. My fabulously awesome friend, Tracy, is starting a new six-week boot camp, and I think I need to sign up. I've been struggling with getting up early and getting in a workout. I've been struggling with cardio. This would be a perfect jump start to marathon training. I'm nervous because I've been getting really dizzy whenever I start to exercise, but I'm going to go and see what I can do. Her training style would be beneficial to both goal 1 & 2. I start on Wednesday. Fingers crossed that it goes well.

Leaf Peep And Run

The last two days were a bust. I woke up feeling completely run down and fatigued. While it is nice to know what causes it, it still makes for a rough day.

Today, I woke up feeling a little better. It's a gorgeous fall day. The leaves are turning, and it is sunny and warm. I wanted to go for a run. I was not feeling motivated, but I knew I needed to take advantage of this weather. I'll be running through snow soon enough.

I finally got myself out and running around 11am. Later than I was hoping, but I have to fit it in when I can. I decided to do an old favorite route, which involves a mile-long steep hill. It was a tough run. I did walk a little, but I tried to keep the walking parts short. I ran big chunks of the hill. It was not easy, but I got it done. I ran just under four miles. Not fast, but I did it. That's the first step to one of my long-term goals. (More on that later)

This makes it all worth it.

Super Sore And It's Leg Day

I woke up super sore this morning. TKD was tough last night. I got really dizzy during warm-ups, and it took a while for it to go away. I did okay during class, but I've added to my list of things to work on.

My feet were really sore this morning. I think it's plantar fasciitis coming back. I see lots of yoga and frozen bottles of water in my future.

Walking Moon Dog this morning helped loosen me up a little, so I was able to get in a lower body/arms workout. I didn't lift as heavy as usual. I kicked something wrong last night, and my ankle and big toe hurt this morning. I didn't want to put too much pressure on it.

Tuesday's workout:

squats 135#  6 reps x2
preacher curls 25#  12 reps x2

plie squats 135#  6 reps x2
calf raises 135#  10 reps x2

alternating lunges 45#  16 reps x2
barbell shoulder press 45#  10 reps x2

curtsey R/L  10 reps/side x2
triceps dips 10 reps x2

1 arm push-ups level 1  10 reps/side
practice 360 hook kick x5

1 arm push-ups level 2  10 reps/side
practice 360 hook kick x5

1 arm push-ups level 3  10 reps/side
practice 360 hook kick x5

Won Hyo x3

It was a good workout. My legs actually feel better. I'm planning on doing some yoga before bed. I definitely need a good stretch.

Short Run Sunday and Goals For The Week

Another busy week coming up. Yesterday was supposed to be a long run day, but I slept in and didn't have time for anything long. I took the Moon Dog for a run. It went much better than last time. He was focused and excited to run. We did just over a mile of intervals. He really makes me push my pace.

I still wanted to get in a run, so I went for a quick 2 miler. I ran up the hill next to my house (1 mile) and back down. I stopped at the top to admire the view.

Even on an overcast day, the view is amazing. I live in a beautiful place.

I stretched for about 20 minutes when I got back. I have not been doing well with stretching, and I'm starting to feel it in my feet. One of my goals for the week is to stretch daily.

Water consumption is my other goal. I have not been drinking enough, and I am not feeling great. I need to stay focused on hydration.

This week (really this whole month) is ridiculously busy. I have to be happy with whatever workout I can fit in. Today's is a perfect example. Short, but better than nothing.

Monday's workout:

Won Hyo x7

push-ups level 1  25 reps
modified 1-arm push-ups level 1  10 reps/side

push-ups level 2  20 reps
modified 1-arm push-ups level 2  10 reps/side

push-up level 3  20 reps
modified 1-arm push-ups level 3  10 reps/side


Today, I also have TKD, so I didn't want to do too much. I'm looking forward to class. It's one of the best parts of my week.

It's A Busy Life, But I'm Enjoying It

It's been a long week. I haven't been able to post for the last few days, but I have managed to make time for some workouts. Priorities.

Wednesday was a super busy day. I knew it was going to be and got up early to get in a quick workout. 

Wednesday's workout:

Push-ups level 1  15 reps x2

alternating biceps curls 15#  6 reps/side x2

modified 1 arm push-ups level 2  10 reps/side x2

barbell shoulder press 45#  10 reps x2

push-ups level 3  15 reps x2

overhead triceps extensions 15#  12 reps x2

Short workout, but better than nothing!

Thursday ended up being a rest day. I took the Moon Dog for a walk, but that was all I did. I had a good reason. I was finishing a revision of my next book. I've been working on it since June, and it was so nice to finally finish it. Good excuse for a rest day.

I needed to rest. My stress level is increasing, and I have not been doing very well with my H2O intake. I'm definitely not feeling my best. Sleep and water are the things I need the most right now. These are my main goals going into next week. I know I'll feel better. Feeling better = more energy = getting more work done. 

Yesterday, I attempted a second run with the Moon Dog. This one was - less successful. There were a lot of new smells that needed to be sniffed, and I couldn't get him to focus. We walked a majority of it. Still, better than nothing. I'm taking baby steps with running. I've always jumped into it and done too much too soon. I then burn out or get injured. I'm trying to focus on small, attainable goals that will develop into habits. Change takes time.

I wanted to get in more of a workout yesterday, so I decided to do some HIIT. It was mostly lower body, push-ups, and TKD. By the end I was a sweaty mess, so something was working. I also ran through my pattern between sets. I love that no matter how much I work at it, there is always something new to focus on. Patterns are never perfect. Honestly, there are days when this also drives me crazy and frustrates me, but lately, I've really enjoyed working on small parts of it and trying to make it better. It helps that I'm seeing some progress. 

Friday's workout:

1 minute work / 30 seconds rest - all sets done x2

squats

side kicks R (no dropping knee)

side kicks L (no dropping knee)

push-ups level 1

alternating lunges

modified 1 arm push-ups level 1 R

modified 1 arm push-ups level 1 L

squat / side leg lift (alternating)

hook kicks (no dropping knee) R

hook kicks (no dropping knee) L

plies / calf raises

push-ups level 2

modified 1 arm push-ups level 2 R

modified 1 arm push-ups level 2 L

standing cross crunches R

standing cross crunches L

Won Hyo x 4

Today has been another rest day. The kids had a soccer game this morning. I love watching them play. It reminds me of when I played and how much fun it was. I'm glad they're enjoying it. They almost didn't sign up this year, and I am so glad they did. Soccer is one of the best parts of fall!

We spent the rest of the day with my parents. We went apple-picking (another fall favorite) and went out to lunch. It was nice to spend time with them. We don't see them nearly enough.

We're home and resting for the evening. Everyone is tired. I'm going to bed early, so I can rest up and still get in a long run tomorrow before rehearsal. It's a busy life, but I'm enjoying it!