Last Tournament Of The Season

Yesterday was the last tournament of the season. I didn't go into it feeling prepared. I didn't get to practice very much. The last couple weeks have been busy and stressful, and I just didn't fit it in. It's not a great excuse, but it is what it is. I was feeling really tired and not focused, but I decided to just do it and see what happens.

I almost didn't go. The Bean was not feeling great on Friday, but she said she felt better on Saturday and wanted to go. She seemed better, so we went. She got her first gold in weapons and got to try for a grand championship. She didn't get it, but she got a lot of great support from the judges and the older boy she competed with. They were very encouraging, and she felt proud for getting that far.

The rest of it didn't go well. By the time they called her group she was sleepy and not focused. She did the best she could, but it was obvious that she wasn't all there. I was proud of her for trying and for having a good attitude about it. It's the first tournament that hasn't gone well for her, and I know how hard that can be. But, it's part of it. Everyone has a bad tournament from time to time. No one gets gold every time. We all have to deal with it, and she handled it gracefully.

It wasn't my best day, either. It started well. Michelle and I got gold for synchronized patterns. It went downhill from there. My nerves were bad, and I didn't eat very much throughout the day. By the time they called my group, I was tired and a little spacey from not eating enough. My head wasn't in it. My nerves took over, and my pattern was awful. It's frustrating because I know I can do a lot better. When I practice at home, I do well with the wave motion, but once I am in front of judges I forget everything.

Breaking was the highlight of the tournament for me. I was trying a spin hook kick, which I only got to practice twice at class. I had no time to try it that day, so I wasn't confident that I would get it. I really like spin hook kicks, so I wasn't very worried. I also decided that if I didn't get it first try I would do something easier and double up my boards. That wasn't necessary. I broke it first try. It wasn't perfect, and I felt a twinge in my ankle and knee as I did it, but it broke. I got silver, but I can't be upset by that. The woman who got gold was incredible and did her break with multiple boards and blindfolded. So awesome.

Sparring was not great. It's not my favorite thing, and while I do feel like I'm improving, I again let my nerves take over. My brain shuts down. It was nice to have Michelle there to yell things to me. We train together and know how we spar. It was helpful, and she definitely got me one of my few points. Because I always end up in third, I end up being the person who has to do two sessions back to back. It happens almost every time. We don't spar for very long, but it feels like eternity when you're up there. Our group has some good competitors, but I managed to get bronze. I'll take it. It was hard-earned. I got punched in the nose and punched in the chest really hard. I almost fell. One of my sparring partners did fall. Plus, it was incredibly hot in the gym. We all worked for it.

So, tournaments are done for the season. I'm determined to go back next year in a much better place. I'm going to keep this one in mind when I'm training. It will keep me focused. I really want to improve. I'm hard on myself, but I think it's okay. I'm not being negative. I just use my mistakes to know what I need to work on. It's a process. A slow, slow process, but I've seen some improvements. Not planning on giving up any time soon.

The best part of tournaments is the people. Michelle and I always have a good time together, and it's nice to have someone there who supports me and my kids and vice versa. Our families have fun together. I've also met a lot of great people in the TKD world. Our group of women is full of awesome, fun, supportive women. It's fun to compete with them and then hug it out at the end. The higher belts are great. They're supportive and positive and totally badass. I don't know how I'll ever get there, but I want to be that good. Tournaments are so friendly and fun, which is why I'll keep going back.

So, this morning I woke up early to go for a 13 mile run. My last long run. It didn't happen. The twinge I felt during my break developed into a pain that ran from my hip to my calf. It hurt a lot when I got up. I tried foam rolling and stretching, but it wasn't better. Before, I would have pushed through and done the run anyway. I would have run in pain and suffered until I got through the race. Maybe I'm not a badass anymore, but I just can't do that. Signing up for this race was just for fun and to get myself running and out of a terrible slump. It's worked, and I am finally exercising again. I'm not winning this race. I'm not going to PR. I'm fairly certain I will be at the back of the pack the whole time. And, I'm okay with that.

I'm hoping that I can get in a long run on Tuesday, but I'm not worried about it. I know I can do 13.1 miles. If I only do short runs until the race I'll be okay. This is also kind of a good thing. If I can stretch and do my PT exercises and make my leg feel better then I will be in a good place for tomorrow. I have promotions for my next belt in TKD, and it will be nice to not have exhausted legs.

Two more goals this month! Then I will set some new goals and mix up my training. I'm looking forward to it.