Do It For Yourself

It's a happy day. I've been battling with my thoughts lately. I needed to start running, but I was constantly battling every negative thought possible. I've done a couple treadmill workouts, but I did intervals because I get bored out of my mind running on a treadmill. I've gotten in some great walks and a snowshoe with my friends.

This morning I decided I was just going to do it. I ignored the annoying, negative thoughts and set myself up for success. It was cold, but not unbearable. I started a new audiobook, and I went slow to avoid the ice. I ran for as long as I could and did better than I expected. I only walked a few times, and I felt great when I was finished.

I'm really proud of myself. I set myself two mantras for this year. The one I am using for exercise is "Do it for yourself." I've always exercised and lost weight for external reasons. When I was younger, I wanted to be thin and attractive. I had stupid, unrealistic priorities that stemmed from a lack of self-confidence. Later on, I felt more confident, but I wasn't self-motivated. I needed someone telling me to run. I rarely ran alone. I would go if other people invited me. Even marathon training was to please someone else. I had to check in every week and was embarrassed when I skipped a run.

If I am ever going to make a lasting change, I need to do it for myself. I can't rely on others to be my motivation. I need to just get out there and do it. Today was a first step in what I hope will be a productive year.

I forgot how great it feels to run. I'm looking forward to going out on a regular basis. Today was a great start.