Normal.

Two weeks, and life continues.

Still working on getting back to "normal". I've been focusing mainly on improving my health. Exercise, healthy eating, meditation, and sleep. I have not been 100% on all of these every day, but I am trying.

Today was a small victory. I've been doing well with running. I'm still following the c25k program. Hopefully, the podcast will be back soon. Most days I really feel like I need to run. I need to be active. Because I can.*

Last week, Andy and I finished week four. We are officially halfway through the program. Then it started snowing. It's April in Vermont. You never know what you're going to get. I am looking forward to some beautiful spring running, but this is also the kind of snow I love. Today, the air is filled with big, fluffy, white flakes. They melted almost as soon as they hit the ground. It's not very cold. The air is crisp.

There is the wind. It blew steadily into my face for the first half of my run. The pretty snow had turned into something closer to rain but still with the sting of ice. I definitely considered turning back. I started trying to justify it. I could just walk the warm up and then turn back. I could wait until tomorrow. Maybe it won't snow tomorrow. Etc, etc, etc...

I decided to run the first run section and decide after that. I was already out there. It wasn't so bad. The wind would be at my back on the way back to my car. And, of course, I should run "because I can". I completed week five, day one of the c25k program. There was a time when running in rain/snow/wind was usual for me. It's not a big deal, but I've been avoiding it for awhile. I haven't wanted to be uncomfortable. Now, I just want to run, regardless of weather, and I am looking forward to future race training. I'm ready to challenge myself again.

Right now I am enjoying the slow build up to running again. The last two runs have felt much better. There is definitely some improvement.

*Mantra 2018

Grief.

A week ago, I lost someone very, very important to me. I don't have the words right now to express the grief I am feeling. I'm sure I will find a way to express it in time, but right now, the hurt is too new. My world has been blown apart, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

I am using exercise to try and grasp at a feeling of normal. It's a good distraction. I'd like to continue the blog as well. Right now I am focused on being healthier. It's something I can control.

All I want to do is run. I've continued my C25K training, and I've been adding extra running or doubling the workouts. Today I had a lot of energy and a day off. I woke up early and did a run with the Artist. He wants to start running again and loves to go first thing in the morning. I'm glad he wants to run. It's so much fun to go with him.

I also needed to do C25K workout. I really wanted to do a longer run, so I did the program twice. I'm on week 4, so the run intervals are longer. I felt pretty good. My legs are tired, and I need to stretch. Love that feeling.

Tomorrow I am going to try going back to TKD. I need to get back to my usual routine, and I miss going to class.

That's the plan for now. Slowly getting back to normal (whatever that is now).