I Quit

Confession: I'm a quitter. Surprisingly, I'm okay with this. I almost never quit. I've spent my whole life meeting goals. I hate giving up.

I'm trying to do things differently. I've been feeling stressed and buried under commitments. I decided to cut back on responsibilities. I want to enjoy my life and focus on just a few projects. I need less stress.

For the last week or so, I have been feeling pretty stressed about the half. I've lost my mojo. My long runs haven't gone well. I keep trying to not care about how slow I am, but it's nagging at me. I've been dreading the run. I just don't feel ready for it, and I'm not having fun.

The whole point of signing up was to start running again. I wanted to find a way to enjoy it again. I was there for a while. I wanted to run. I looked forward to it. I loved it again. Then I got closer to race time, and I started to worry. I ran less. I wasn't as excited to run.

I want to enjoy it. Running is so great. It makes me feel good and helps me stay positive. I don't want to lose the enjoyment of it. I want it to be fun.

You know what sounds fun? Dropping down to the 5k and running it with the Artist. It will be his first race, and he is so excited. This is why I am okay with being a quitter. This is the right choice. I'm not in a competitive head space. I'm not looking for anything serious. Some fun mother/son time is absolutely perfect.

I'm still planning on some races in 2016. I'm sure I'll get back to a place where I feel ready to run distance again, but right now I just need to enjoy it. I love that the Artist has become my new running buddy. He's a great motivator. I'm so excited for Sunday now.

For now my fitness goals are going to be based in consistency. I want to lift 3x/week and run 2-3x/week (whatever distance I choose). I also want to work more on Taekwondo. Tournament season is coming, and I want to do my best.

I have to accept that I am not where I used to be, and it is going to take time to get back there. I can't expect it to all change at once. Slow and steady all fall and winter is my goal. Build a base. It will make training easier in the spring/summer. It's time for hiking and (soon) snowshoeing. Two of my favorite workouts that pair perfectly with my slow and steady goal.

Of course now that I am motivated again, I am sick. I've been a mess for a couple days. I'm hoping to feel good enough to do a strength workout tomorrow. It will be fairly light/easy. I'm not rushing into anything. One day at a time. Slow and steady.

Annual Birthday Hike

Confession time. I missed my last long run. My half is in a week and a half, and I'm feeling pretty confident. Not that I will be fast. It's going to be a long run. I'm hoping there isn't a cutoff time, but I'm okay, no matter how long it takes. I took a long time off from running. I am not in the same shape I was, and if I can complete the half I will be happy.

I missed my run on Sunday. I slept through all of my alarms. I don't remember them going off, but I must have turned them off. I tried running later in the day, but it just didn't happen. I walked 4 miles. I ran a little, but it was a struggle.

Monday I had TKD. It was a great class. We learned a fun, new punch. It took me a long time to figure it out. My pattern is getting better. I'm definitely struggling with parts of it, but it's slowly getting better. I don't think I've ever worked so hard to perfect something. I've had to really focus on the tiny details. It was a great class, and my muscles were sore this morning.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, and that means hiking. Every year she goes for hike. Last year we hiked Laraway. This year she wanted to do Jay Peak. I love Jay. It was a great day for a hike. We had a lot of fun and lots of good girl talk.

I followed our hike with yoga and a run with the kids. I'm definitely sore this morning.

Still, I got up early this morning and went for a run with Tracy. It ended up being a lot of walking. I stepped on some loose rocks and twisted my knee. It was not feeling good this morning, so I took it easy. Something is better than nothing.

I'm feeling completely wiped out. Just exhausted. The Artist is home today, too. Not feeling well, tired. Looks like we're staying home and napping today. He's already asleep.

I'm trying to stay positive about the race. The usual doubts are creeping in. Trying to focus on finishing and having fun. Time doesn't matter. Finish. Have fun. That's my mantra for this one. It's so nice to be back to running and actually enjoying it. That's the most important thing.